my husband told me he never loved me and wanted out of the marrige last summer but stayed until the baby was born this past june. divorced me in july and has started a friendship with another woman from work. i didn't fight the divorce because i worried about the affects on our kids now and in the future with visitation, etc. i knew that he'd eventually have the divorce granted and i would have caused him to harden his heart against me if i fought. plus, i was sure he'd get out there and find out how much he missed family life, be lonely and feelings for me would stir. however, when he started dating my hopes were dashed. i finally picked up Stormie's book, too late i fear, and wish i'd done A LOT of read on this site and many others in addtion to reading books and maybe implemented some of these suggestions to save the marriage. <P>so now that we are actually divorced is there prayer that will bring him back? i've tried to gently remind him that God didn't bless the divorce, that the scripture calls a wife a gift of God and that if he'd ever prayed for a love for me, God would have given it to him. sometimes he shows a sense of disatisfaction, depression and seems to miss the family unit although he gets the kids whenever he wants.<P>have i waited to long to try praying him back home? if not, what kind of prayer can i pray that will cause him to repent of the divorce, seek God's help and love for me and attend counseling to learn how to have happy marriage and of course...get married again?<P>thank you for reading.

lafrance,<P>It is never too late! You need to visit rejoiceministries.com. Charlene divorced her husband and then regretted it. She took a stand to pray for him and two years later he knocked on the window where she worked and said lets go get married this afternoon.<P>Her story is there and she sends out a daily devotional that is very encouraging.<P>It is hard work standing for your husband but one that God will take you through. AND just because he seems to be seeing someone doesn't mean God can't change his heart still. God has shown me that I am to be quiet and wait. It has been a long wait for me. I too have felt that I should not fight my h on divorce but I am not helping it too much either. In NY you have to have cause. Since he has no cause then we have to draw up a separation agreement and then wait an additional year. We are in divorce mediation and have not finished the agreement. Then it will take 3 months through the courts. After that there will be the year of separation. After that it is another 3 month wait after he actually files to go through the courts. So I figure that we are talking another 1 1/2 years at least. God can work a lot in my h's heart in that time. <P>My family thinks I am crazy and so do my daughter's especially the 17 year old. Friends, even some Christian friends also encourage me to go out and try to make him jelous. But God does not need my help to change my h's heart. Going out with someone else would only complicate the issue and besides in my and God's eyes I am a married woman. I still wear my wedding ring as well. Also although I have Biblical reason's to divorce him God clearly says "I hate divorce" Malachi 2:16. "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" Matthew 19:6 and "Moses PERMITTED you to divorce your wives because YOUR HEARTS WERE HARD" Matthew 19:8. God may permit it but He does not demand it and He certainly doesn't want you too.<P>lafrance be encouraged by everyone on this site and at rejoice ministries. There are other places as well. God is in charge and His plans cannot be thwarted! Job 42:2<P>I know my h has no peace in the other relationship. The ow is very pushy and does not abide with boundaries such as my 11 year old daughter was not ready to meet her. My h just had to drop something off and then she just happened to walk the dog. This was no accident! Who are they kidding.<P>In time I hope my h sees through this all. He has known the ow for 7 years and she moved in with him the beginning of Sept. Up until the week she was moving here he was waffling about it. <P><BR>lafrance. You must seek the Lord with all your heart in prayer and reading the Bible. This will provide the srength you'll need to stay in this battle and it is a battle. You will become discouraged at times and you will cry. But knowing the Lord and reading His word will lighten the load and bring joy to your heart in the midst of this storm. Keeping your eyes on God; meaning thinking about Him and reading about Him, learning who He is will allow you to trust Him and it will change you too. These changes your h will notice and the Lord can use this to encourage interest in you by your h. Often what will seem to be going on is not really how it is.<P>Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."<P>Often what I thought I knew my h was thinking and feeling or things to be a certain way turned out to actually be different. I may not find this out until later but it always encourages me.<P>God is good. He is able to do all things and He will provide in all ways for you. As you learn more about Him you will come to trust Him more and your faith will grow. Have faith in God. Seek Him with all your heart and let God do what He needs to to bring your h back. You can't control the situation but you can pray for it.<P>"And I pray for you that being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide, and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasureably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations, for ever and ever, Amen!" Ephesians 3:17-21<P>God Bless, hw<BR>

Thank you hw that was event encouraging to me. Before I read you response to lafrance I wrote to a message board at ivillage under Christian families. I am also frustrated not with God but with my weak self. I pray for strength and grace because I keep making silly mistakes. I've stopped the calling and have been trying to be totally dependent on God but sometimes I call him and as my mother says I give the devil ammunition to walk all over me. This was right on time for me and I'm sure for lafrance. Also, I filed for child support although he was agreeing to help, I did it because I thought it would be easier emotionally for me and because he just provided as far as bills and food not their clothing needs and other activities. I used to give him my pay check and he would give me $20.00 a day, I hated that. Anyway,<P>God bless you. Below is my situation I sent to other message boards;<P>Hello everyone, This is my first time posting, I'll try not to be long. Today, it's been about 3 months since I've been separated from my husband and I'm hurting so bad. Here's my story; I'm a Christian so I look to God for strength but still weak at times. Husband is a SA (sex addict), we have two children a girl (4) and a boy (2) I moved out of our apartment to live with mom and step dad in house because husband exposed himself in front of the whole neighborhood out of our bedroom window masterbating and everyone looks at me and wonders. I've asked, apologized for my faults and suggested counseling and have done all I could to get him back (Yes you would probably call me a fool, but I believe in forgiveness, in this case he has not sincerely ask for any.) I am 29, during our 5 years of marriage he has made a pass at my sister, gotten arrested for indicent exposure once, he's a workaholic and a gymaholic, he thinks I need to work out like him and loose weight, I raise the kids and take them to church and work a 40 hour a week job. I want to be free of this hurt and this dependency I have on him to be a husband to me, I feel we never had a chance. I feel foolish to love him so much although I know it's real love because I've grown to know what real love is. I'm hoping and maintaining my faith in my marriage, while people and love ones are telling me to move on, O.K. what is moving on and how can I move on when your married or still desiring your spouse. I've heard, find joy, find something you like to do, but the desire is still there? I'm learning to accept myself while I'm still sick of myself for being so weak for this man. Why don't someone else come along but no I'm still married? <P>HELP? I'm sorry for the length. Thanks for reading. Any insight? <P><BR>

Dasiaboo,<P>Ipraise the Lord for your faith and endurance. It is very hard I am sure to face humiliation like that from neighbor's. Yes, God calls us to love them anyways and He even supplies the love when we have none left. I too believe God can change your h's heart. As I wrote above have you found you found Charlene Cares @rejoiceministries.org. This is a devotional encouragement that comes every day if you sign up for it. It encourages us that are standing for our marriages.<P>You will be in my prayers today. I believe that you did right to leave if he is doing his thing even in front of the kids. It is a form of sexual abuse toward them I believe. He does sound like he has an addiction to sex and you know he will need professional help to deal with it. Unfortunately like all addictions people that have addictions are in denile. He is in denile that he has a problem and is in denial to the emotional needs and hurts that have led him to the addiction. He may have to fall hard first. <P>Keep your eyes on God and not your h by staying in prayer and fellowship with other Christians. He is your strength and refuge. Love the Lord your God will all your heart. Trust Him for His promises in His timing.<P>hw