Hi everyone,<p>I feel like I am in a different boat than the reast. I am not trying to save a marriage. My relationship is over and I have been moving on.<p>I still have a few more cort dates to go. The latest is that Tony's lawyer is accusing me of extorsion. I will beat that charge like all the others. Lucky me I am still my own Pro se lawyer. At times it feels like it will never end.<p>I had my house on the market. And it sold in five days. I need to be out in a week. I have not packed that much. I have so much stuff to get rid of. I am going to my new state and try and find a place to live and a job interview this weekend. Pray that I get the job. It is a database anylist. <p>In fact I called the other day to find out what the dress style was. I was thinking I would get the operator but it appears everyone answers the phone. I ended up getting the guy who is going to interview me. He remembered my voice. All I could do was laugh and say busted. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] So not sure if it is a good think that he remembers my voice or not. But he seems very easy going. <p>OK On to my lesson learned. It is two parts. First, the house sell was not going smooth at all. It was compounded by the fact that the deal had to go through. See my house was in forclosure. ekks. Today it all came together. I really need to realize that God is in control and just enjoy the ride. So there is lesson number one!!! Thank you God. I soo need my butt kicked sometimes. <p>Lesson number two: I have been dating a couple of guys. Ok I know... not a good idea. Anyways. I was over at this guys house. We had a really nice dinner and the like. Well he got up and ended up talking on the phone for the longest time to this other person. I just thought gee how disrespectful. I sat there and decided that I deserved more. So I got up and just said "good bye". And then left. <p>Honestly a month ago I would have probably sat there and took it and thought gee I do not deserve more than this. But now I know that I am worthy of respect Granted I still have a long way to go...but I am getting there.<p>OK one more issue. My Mom made some really stupid decisions that affect me, my neice and nephew. I mean really affect us in a negative way. I am very angry with her and not sure I can forgive her. This is not the first time she has screwed me over...but my neice and nephew. I thought she would never do anything like this to them. She has always hated me..and well now I just would rather never see her again. I need major prayer over this. <p>When I found out what she did I was not very nice. I also informed her that if she could not get her act together I would have her deemed unfit and take everything away from her. Very long story but what she did was very evil to the family. It is beyond anything I could ever imagine. I should have listened to my Gran when she warned me. <p>I am not sure what prayers I need. Becuase I can not even stand to think about my Mother without evil thoughts. What kills me is she is not even sorry for what she has done. Maybe pray to have her eyes open to what she has done.

Y'all come on home to Texas, y'hear? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Any chance you can leave without a trace so Tony can't find you anymore? Hope you get that job! <p>I can't imagine what your mom could have done that was so terrible. Is there anything you can do to protect yourself from the same or similar in the future? Are you going to let her know your new address? You're about to begin a brand new chapter in a new location. I'll have you in my prayers. You have a golden opportunity to leave behind all kinds of baggage. Be very selective and pack your Bible first! {{{{hugs}}}}

Hi Ladies,<p>I haven't been on much lately, although I pop up here and there - usually when I'm irked at someone. That's where MY head is at these days. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Paha, I'm so sorry about your mother. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] That's awful. The job interview? How did it go? And the dating -- just make sure you don't put yourself in a position where you can be hurt, okay?<p>How are you doing now? <p>(((((Pahakissa)))))<p>I noticed that both of you are venturing out into the deep waters of... the rest of the board... oh, scary out there, isn't it?

Hi LH and Sheryl,<p>
Sorry I have not written sooner. What can I say. First, not sure about the job. Have not heard anything. I thought I had it but now I have no idea. Since my doctor's appointment this morning I need it more than ever.<p>As far as my Mom...well lets just say she gave away almost all the family estate. Just pissed it away to someone who is not in the family. I am not talking to her anymore...for a long time. <p>Now onto the really bad news. I have been really exhasted of late. Well I am pregnant. Could my life suck anymore. Homeless, jobless and pregnant. How do I make these mistakes. <p> HOw are all of you?

OH MY GOD, You're PREGNANT? How did that happen? Well, I know *how* it happened, but HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?????<p>Oh no, oh no, oh no... you POOR GIRL. How far along??????? Can you get some assistance, medically???? Oh gosh... <p>HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS...

Ok. I have no idea how far along I am. Not sure how it happened as I was on the pill till yesturday and using condoms. I find out tonight how far along I am when the sanogram is done. The woman could not find the embryo this morning.
She is not worried because My uterous is odd shaped. But still can not rule out epotic pregnancy. So now I have had three tests and all show I am pregnant. <p>It sucks to be me. Homeless, jobless, and pregnant. <p>I have told one of the two candidates and he did not take it well. He really did not take it well. When he called me back he sounded a bit better but not really. Guy number two I am waiting for him to call me back. I just left a message on his machine. eckks. So I am not sure what I am going to do. I find out how far along I am and well go from there. guy number one is going on a fishing trip. I knew he had this trip planned for some time. I just told him to have fun, relax and not worry. He has a 50/50 chance while I am on death row.

OMG Paha! I don't know what to say. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers! Joel 2:25 comes to mind. "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten" All the trials and pain you have endured... surely it will create an enormous capacity for joy when the time comes. You WILL get through this.

Hi LH,<p>Thank you so much for the passage. I will have to write it out and place it in my purse. I so need it.<p>Guy number two took it really well. We both know we do not have a future. But he said he would be there for me. Not sure what is going to happen. <p>Guy number two told me not to even worry about the baby and just focus on the job right now. He even gave me a list of things to do today too keep focused on the more important issue of homelessness and joblessness. <p>So I have the weekend to think about everything and process it.

Well, um, I don't know what to say! But I KNOW that God can use this for good, even if our puny minds can't see a way.<p>Please take care of yourself. When you feel like noone cares - come here. We care.

Bgental,<p>Thank you so much for the reply. I will try and keep that in mind.

How are you doing today paha? I was so worried about you when you were dating so soon. The only way I've kept my nose and other parts out of trouble is by keeping a very low profile. Now that separation is 4 months old with no reconciliation in sight, I'm thinking I need more of a social life. Methinks I should don a chastity belt to keep myself on good behavior! I've sheltered myself from any exposure to men I might find attractive. An attractive available man interested in me right now is dangerous for me to even think about. Don't be hard on yourself Paha. You took precautions. Double precautions! Has your house sale been completed? Do you have a place to stay? I pray for your safety multiple times every day. Take care

Hello dear Paha,<p>I'm coming out of kinda-hiding to see how you're doing. <p>I'm at my Parent's house right now, and doing very nicely. My son is asleep in the room next to me, and I have been mightily blessed over the last few days. I almost don't know how to take it all in. I keep saying I don't deserve it - I keep expecting the forever-punishment over here -- do you ever feel like that? I bet you do!!<p>Paha, what are you going to do? I know abortion is not an option, and fully support you in that. One thing you may want to look into now that you're with child is social assistance - because, like it or not, the child makes a difference. You can get help because of your baby. AND YOU NEED SOME HELP, don't you?<p>I've thought of you so very often over the last days - ever since you wrote this. There but by the grace of God goeth any of us. Life is so hard, and sometimes we reach out for love in the only ways we know how. I sure know about that!<p>Sweetie, please seek out help. I wish so much *I* could help you in a tangible way. I have been blessed with some gifts when we thought we had no hope left... and it is amazing. I will pray that you too will get some much needed peace, hope, and HELP...<p>Much love,<p>[ June 12, 2002: Message edited by: new_beginning ]</p>

Hi LH,<p>Hey can you email me. I lost your address and I still need to mail that stuff to you. <p>Well I thought I was being safe. I mean how safe is a condom and the pill. I have no idea What is going to happen. <p>I have sold the house but have not found a place to live. I have no idea what I am going to do. I am trying to find a place. But no one wants to touch me because the job fell through. And who wants a roommate that is pregnant with two cats. I have to be out of the hotel saturday. Something has to work out for once. <p>LH try not to worry about dating. I mean I doubt you will have the same problems I do. I thought I was being safe. <p>Sheryl,<p>Thank you very much for your prayers. As of yet I have no idea what I am going to do. I know my options. What ever happens I am in this alone. He made very sure of informing me of this. Again thank you for your prayers. <p>Glad you are enjoying your time at your parents.

Dear Paha,<p>Just checking in again. I'm so worried about you! <p>Oh, how I ***wish*** I could do something that could REALLY help you! <p>Hugs are nice, but you need a HOME! Sigh.<p>Please check in as often as possible. I know I am, for you!!

I really don't want to be rude or crude....but I believe there is a lesson to be learned here...<p>SAFE sex for my 17 year old son is NOT having sex AT ALL. That is what I have taught him for years and that is what he knows to be true. Read the paper, listen to the news, review the statistics... safe sex is a lie! A condom, the pill or anything short of just plain not having sex, is NOT safe. Pregnancy and decease are the results of so called 'safe sex'. <p>There is no safe sex. That is a lie the enemy has perpetrated and even the most wise have been fooled into believing. If my young 17 year old son can understand this, then why are we adults having such a hard time with it????

Good Morning Paha!<p>Hope today finds a bit of sunshine for you... maybe some GOOD news for a change! Hugs!!<p>Oh frstrtd,<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by frstrtd:
<strong>If my young 17 year old son can understand this, then why are we adults having such a hard time with it????</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I taught my children the same, and funny thing - one daughter is a virgin at 20, and one has had two sexual boyfriends at 21. <p>~My 17 year old son is a different story altogether, but is a virgin as well.<p>Let me tell you a little story, maybe two, and understand, your response has hurt ME to the core -- I can't speak for Paha -- so this is about ME and how I respond to your reply.<p>My ex-H was a serial cheater. The proof is all over these boards (including his own words, since he wrote here for awhile as well. I too had an affair, eighteen years into the marriage. I slept with the OM once - one time only - WITHOUT protection. I was a 40 year old married woman - what the HELL was I thinking? **I WASN'T** I just wanted to be "loved" -- and wrong as it was, I did it.<p>I don't want to talk about Paha like she isn't here, so forgive me Paha. But I'd bet, as a grown woman, she fully understood the risks, however, FOR WHATEVER REASON, didn't heed them. And, although you are right, of course....tell me... what good does it do to say this NOW - I mean, she *is* PREGNANT.<p>I hope this doesn't seem like a slam. I don't mean it to... but it hurt me/stung me, as well. <p>Tough love is fine sometimes, but at this point, the best we can offer is compassion, I think. <p>There but for the grace of God goeth I ~~ and I came very close to being in Paha's shoes.

I knew that my words would hurt. Sometimes even the most obvious truths hurt. But that shouldn't keep us from saying them or trying to practice them. And what about the other boys/men and/or girls/women out there who are reading this who may need to see the words just one more time to prevent them from making a mistake. <p>I am not here to win any popularity contests. I was and simply am stating facts. <p>I feel for Paha and anyone else who gets into this delema. I pray that Paha finds comfort in the Lord and does His will through it all. I am not heartless nor without compassion. I myself was only 16 when I started having 'safe sex' and by age 18, contracted 2 sexually transmitted deceases and ended up being one of the 1st 100 women to have a 'legal' abortion in the state of Pennsylvania. I know personnally the pain of having 'safe sex' out of wedlock. It is no picnic. I suffered silently for years. <p>Yet, looking beyond that, I think that we are here not only for ourselves, but for the countless others who stop in to read our board. <p>I am sorry if my bluntness stings, but there is no gentler way to put it.<p>And Paha, I do pray for the arms of God to wrap around you and give you the clear direction and comfort that you need right now.<p>God Bless

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by frstrtd:
<strong>
I am not here to win any popularity contests. I was and simply am stating facts. <p>Yet, looking beyond that, I think that we are here not only for ourselves, but for the countless others who stop in to read our board. <p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>I certainly win no contests around here either - unless of course it is for the sheer volume of posts -LOL. <p>I agree that others could drop by and read... I dunno... sigh...<p>Somehow though, I just feel that telling, say... a smoker... that cigarettes cause cancer when they've just received a cancer diagnosis... is rubbing salt into the wound and counter-productive.<p>I've tried the tough love approach sometimes - usually doesn't work very well, and is against all that I am. What can I say... except... I'm a sap.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by frstrtd:
I am sorry if my bluntness stings, but there is no gentler way to put it.<p><hr></blockquote><p>I disagree. Your response to Paha has an "I told you so" tone. As an effort toward prevention, frstrtd, your message is right on. As the parent of a teenager, you would be remiss in NOT sending that message to him. Sending that same message to Paha after the fact, what does it accomplish? IMHO it creates an atmosphere where Paha might be reluctant to post here in the future. To ask Paha why does she not know what your 17 year-old son knows is an insult. You know, I know, Paha knows that abstinence is the only guarantee against sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. She succumbed to desires of the flesh. Is there a person here who hasn't? Earlier in this thread I joked about a chastity belt, but it wasn't really a joking matter at all. I too am VERY vulnerable to making the same decision that Paha did. Her predicament all by itself is reason enough for me to tighten the reins on my own thoughts about men. Boy howdy, I've had LOTS of inappropriate thoughts since H and I separated. Take heart Paha, your troubles are helping ME stay on the straight and narrow. THANK YOU for sharing you troubles with us. Frstrtd, I simply have concern about your approach. Ask yourself this: if your son were to throw caution into the wind and engage in sexual activity that results in a disease or a pregnancy, how do you think he'll handle communication with you, knowing that he'll encounter an "I told you so" attitude? ugh, what a run-on sentence. I'm tossing grammar to the wind and posting as is.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I've tried the tough love approach sometimes - usually doesn't work very well, and is against all that I am. What can I say... except... I'm a sap.<hr></blockquote><p>Sheryl, if you're a sap, I'm a sap too. You be the polar sap, and I'll be the tropo sap. We can be saps together! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Hope you're having a great time in CA. Paha, hope things get better for you. frstrtd, what can say... hope you like sap!