Hi everyone,<P>As you may remember, my last post was concerning the discovery of new evidence - should you, or should you not, disclose it? Well, now unfortunately I think I am in that position and don't know how to handle it.<P>My H is a skipper on a private yacht here in Spain, and at the moment is with the boat on the neighbouring island of Ibiza for a couple of days. Normally I go with the boat but this time he didn't want me to - first clue. If he ever is away without me he always calls me last thing at night and first thing in the morning. By 10am this morning he still hadn't called - so I called him- no reply, after 1 and half hours I called one of the other crew on the boat to ask could I speak to my H. His answer was so washy, that I asked him straight had my H slept on the boat or not last night. He replied 'I don't want to get involved, make of that what you will'. My H eventually called me at 12.30pm- after I had been trying to reach him for almost 3 hours on his cell phone! His reasons for not answering/calling were just as washy. He uses his cell phone for his work, and it is practically surgically attatched to him- so I know what he was telling me was crap.<P>He's due home tonight - and from previous experience I know that confronting him with anything normally drives him away - but how does one cope with all these lies?<P>I'm obviously thinking the worst - that he spent the night with the OW in a hotel over there - even though he swears blind that it's over. bla.bla.bla....(second time that is!)<P>I have no proof- and he knows that, so he'll just deny it till he's blue in the face - and will no doubt end in major LBing. I know this Plan A thing says act normal etc., but how can I when I feel so bad? Believe it or not I still want this marriage to work- but at what point should you think about giving up - just to save your own sanity....<P>Right now, this forum is the only thing that's keeping me sane - I feel as if the whole world has gone mad and that pretty soon I will wake up and all the madness will have disappeared - no such luck.<P>I'm sad, hurt, angry, depressed, confused and desperate for some kind of peace. I know a lot of you are in much worse positions than myself, but slowly I feel it's all getting too much for me to handle. I'ld be grateful for any advice or help from any of you.<BR> <BR>Thanks<BR>Trisha

hi trisha,<P>What you say seems pretty clear to me.<P>His own crew member says he doesn't want to get in the middle, etc. If there was a legitimate reason for your H to be off the boat (what might that be, for a skipper on a private boat?) the guy would have told you straight out.<P>You know what you know. I would be concerned about health issues (STD's) more than the marriage. If you become ill as a result of his fooling around, what happens to you?<P> <P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess