Hi James,<P>I'm following your story and I'm glad that your Lovebusting didn't backfire.<P>Your W sounds so remorseful. It was nice that she called you back.<P>Maybe you can surprise her with flowers tomorrow?

It appears from your posts that you still have doubts regarding your wife's version of what happened. It is also very puzzling that your wife would be reprimanded more than the OM. I wouild suggest asking your friend who is a MP to get access to the information that the military police have in regards to this affair. There might also be a transcript of the court martial.

Kathi,<P>Well I did some apologizing and making up last night. Things seem to be a little better now. I'll talk to you when you get back. Hope you have a good flight, and a fun weekend.<P>No Trust,<P>Thanks for the words of support... I've decided against flowers though... I'm taking her out to dinner and a movie instead, she's not much af a flower person <P>Max,<P>I have a pretty good understanding now of everything that happened. I attended her trial and sentencing. Was not allowed to his...<BR>She got the blunt of it because it was her tent they were in. And I have a feeling that he managed to go with a plea bargain, for reduced punishment. Since he is getting out of the service in a few months.<P>I have also been told by some other officers, that because he was single and she was married, that they tried to make an example out of her.<P><BR>James<P>

I'm so glad that things worked out. Have fun on your date!

JW,<P>Sorry to hear about the LB but you know, the stress does build up and sometimes it is hard to handle. You did the right thing by apologizing. I suspect that your W doesn't yet fully comprehend how devastating this is. She probably didn't think that being late would really bother you deep down. But of course the trust issue is yours not hers. <P>As she comes to understand what you are dealing with, (that is why I wanted you to bring her here) she will be more sensitive. You must understand she is going to have a lot to deal with. The guilt ran really eat at a person. So please take care to talk with her and try to help her. It will take her awhile to forgive herself.<P>You two will have many ups and downs but if you communicate and do you best not to LB, I think you will make it. If she feels like it have her post. She can start her own thread or a new one. There are many people here who understand her position and will help her as well as you.<P>Hope your weekend is a good one.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

JL,<P>Glad to have you back...<P>Well, as far as my big LB went, she was upset at me at first(understandably).And then she was really upset at herself...she felt really bad because I would never had exploded like that if she hadn't done what she did.<P>She's explained to me over and over how sorry she is for hurting me. Things are starting to look better again. I just wish that she didn't have to live with all of the guilt that she's feeling right now.<P>I'm trying hard to let her know that I understand what she's going through. And although she's reluctant about it she is expressing her true feelings about what's on her mind. Which in turn is helping both of us.<P>Well I'm going to go try and make the best of our weekend together...it's been a long time.<P>Take care,<BR>James

JW,<P>Sounds like a plan to me . Have a good weekend.<P>JL

Kathi, JL, and everyone else,<P>Just a quick update...<P>The weekend went really well!<P>A couple of little LB's brought on by some hurtful triggers, nothing that we couldn't work through though.<P>She brought up some triggers, I did some little LB's, we kissed and made up!<P>Progress is showing it's face once again!<BR>And I owe it all to you that have helped me out through this.<P>Jamie Lee, and Lesa,<P>Thank you so much for letting me vent to you two through all of our chats this weekend. It really helped me! <P>And to everyone else here on MB, <BR>i know today is a day that is supposed to be filled with love and happiness. And although not everyone is feeling it today, you are all in my heart!<P>Happy Valentines Day!<P>James

JW<P>I don't know why I haven't seen this thread before because I try to read them all. When I saw it up there with 47 messages I couldn't believe it! I never get that much advice!!<P>I read all your messages but scanned the advice because I am short on time.<P>It sounds like you have got some really great advice here and also you have been on quite a roller coaster. I am just here to tell you I think you have handled this all very well. I am glad to see you are having such positive progress. I can't add much that hasn't already been said, but you're doing great!!<P>

Glad your weekend went well!!! Mine was pretty mixed...if I have time I'll post more later.<BR>Kathi

James,<BR>no problum we are here when you need us all you have to do is show up I'll talk to you later take care and dont forget to let W know how much she means to you not only today but everyday <BR>Take care friend<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Well everyone, here's an update....<P>V day seemed to go okay for the most part.<BR>W called me at work last night. She seemed to be acting awkward. Her tone of voice was different.<P>So I asked her how everything at work had gone. She said fine...I asked her if she had ran into him(she hadn't told me at lunch like she usually does). Her reply was a quick no.<P>That's when I started really wondering...<BR>When I got home from work I asked her flat out if anything happened today that she needed to tell me about. Once again...a real short no.<P><BR>I was really begining to suspect something had happened that she wasn't telling me. So I asked her if OM had gotten her anything for V day.(that was my fear) She got defensive and said no.<P>The rest of the night was okay but she just wasn't herself.<P><BR>Well here goes the dip in the rollercoaster.<P><BR>After she went to work today, and I got up. I had to get somethings out of the shed. When I opened the shed there was a pink rose,and a red heartshaped balloon, with a note. I won't go into detail of the note except it was signed with OM's initials.<P>Now what??!!<P>James

James...<BR> I am SO sorry. Obviously the OM did give her something, and she didn't tell you. You still don't know why she didn't tell you...<BR>that is a question only she can answer.<BR>Keep in mind that the valentine may have been completely one-sided, I've gotten flowers in the past from someone I'd broken up with. I'd guess that getting this valentine made her feel even more guilty, and she didn;t want to talk about it with you, bring up bad feelings, etc. But, the fact that she brought it home and didn't just trash it makes me think her feelings for him are not clear yet....not really too surprising, these things take time.<BR>I really don't know what the best thing to do in your place is. I'd probably strive to be very calm (no LB), tell her you found a valentine in the shed, and tell her you'd like to talk a bit about it. See what she says. <BR>Good luck.<BR>Kathi

JW,<P>I tell you what I would do. I would go see the CO. I believe OM is under orders to have no contact with your wife. If that is the case it is time to stop this. If she has feeling for him and she obviously does at some level it will bring things to the surface. If she feels very awkward about all of this, it may force the OM to back off or pay the consequences.<P>No matter the situation, it is to your benefit to back this guy off.<P>Good luck and God Bless <P>JL