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#36753 12/02/99 02:06 PM
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Hi Everyone,<BR>I was just curious if any of you that have been betrayed has sued the OP for Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation? I live in a state where this is an option for me. And, I am seriously considering doing this if my husband files for divorce. Until then I am in Plan A mode!

#36754 12/02/99 02:08 PM
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No I haven't done that, but it does sound interesting. I saw a movie on Lifetime about it once. Food for thought, huh.

#36755 12/02/99 02:25 PM
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SIS:<P>I was told by my attorney, most states (in US) are reviewing the laws involving "Alienation of Affection"... to eliminate them... It's a shame...<P>My state(NJ) has canned it!<P>Why do we have so many bad laws?...<BR>Why do judges feel morality... is old-fashioned?...<BR>Why are "values" counted as, at best, <B>insignificant</B> during divorces, custody battles and separations?...<P>Have we really become a <B>better... more noble... more compassionate</B> society?...<P>What do You think God?...<P>Jim

#36756 12/02/99 02:57 PM
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I know that that is a law in my state and I uphold it completely! I think the OW had alot to do with our marriage, she was around him for 6 months before the affair, constantly feeding on needs that he wouldn't let me meet. <BR>It's too bad that he doesn't blame her at all for this. I think it stinks because of one simple thing, that means he still cares enough for her to protect her from the blame I want to place on her influence on our marriage and he doesn't want to acknowledge it. I guess some would say it doesn't matter because we're working things out but that's an ugly thorn in my side that is festering. I almost exploded with him the last time I discussed this with him. Wish me luck! God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>

#36757 12/02/99 03:02 PM
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I thought about it to, but what does it accomplish? You still are in the same place. Is it for revenge, what? I'm being serious If I file what would I accomplish, the ow has no money would some one go to jail what would be the end results?<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

#36758 12/02/99 03:37 PM
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I wish it were an option in our state. Although we are not presently considering divorce, I did keep all the records I have of affair-related expenses, because they can be applicable to a financial settlement in our state in the case of divorce.<P>Since OW is significantly better off financially than I am (personally, not counting h's income), I would love to go after her for alienation if it were the cause of our divorce.<P>Another situation that bothers me is that in our state, adultery has NO EFFECT on child custody, visitation or child support. I realize that it is possible to have an affair and still be a good parent, but even my H. admits that he gave no thought to the effect the affair could have on them. <P>He even had sex at her house with her husband away and her kids in another room (presumably asleep). This immoral behavior has to affect children who are exposed to it, don't you think?<BR><P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

#36759 12/02/99 03:47 PM
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I saw that movie on Lifetime and had to laugh out loud at the end! Every state should have that law.

#36760 12/02/99 04:26 PM
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Agree the law should be in place, for many reasons. Which one do I sue? All? Sue in the state the ows live in, my state, or where they had the sex? Gads.....wonder if it would pay for my kids college educations?! Maybe I could get one atty to give me a package deal?<p>[This message has been edited by cl (edited December 02, 1999).]

#36761 12/02/99 07:56 PM
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Hi SDS - Since Alienation of Affection is considered a civil case, there would be no criminal punishment (i.e. jail time or probation). You would only be entitled to damages. Since the OW in my situation also has no money, I've also thought, "what would I have to gain?" <P>But, I feel very strongly that if more people were held accountable for their actions that maybe people would think twice before they have an affair and destroy a family. That is my main motivation.

#36762 12/02/99 08:23 PM
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I think in the movie about it, the lady sued for this reason:<P>To prove that she "had a good marriage, to a good man" before the OW came into the picture and intentionally set out to destroy it. It wasn't for the money, but to prove a point: that her marriage wasn't bad and she was not a bad wife.

#36763 01/01/00 01:14 AM
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Sleepless and others,<BR> My state repealed the law allowing suits for Alienation of Affection. I know, however, that in North Carolina within the last 2 or 3 months, a betrayed wife sued the OW and WON. I would be delighted if my state permitted such suits and would file in a heartbeat! I checked the NC statute for what the person suing needed to have to prove a case, and I have that and much more.<BR> Would this be for revenge? You bet your sweet bippy it would! Those who say (including our counselor) that revenge won't make you feel any better are wrong. The OW destroyed a beautiful family, forced her husband into suicide because she was "hot" for my husband, and nearly caused the death of one of our children (a long, ugly story).<BR>I'd kill her myself except she's not worth the rest of my life in prison and eternity in hell.<p>[This message has been edited by anniem (edited December 31, 1999).]

#36764 12/31/99 02:13 PM
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In NY, it used to be a <B>criminal</B> law! Yup, with the right evidence you could have the OP <B>arrested!</B><P>However, that one was axed out of the criminal code in the 60's ... you know, that decade where morals went out the window ...<P>I'm not certain, but I think you can sue for damages if you have evidence that someone has wronged you - regardless of what the circumstances are. The laws which were repealed, as far as I have read, were the criminal laws regarding alienation of affection.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P>

#36765 12/31/99 05:52 PM
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I live in NC, I was listening to a radio program where trhey were talking about this very subject. There were alot of callers that sue for aa and won some substantial sone not. Point being that OP can't be allowed to ruin a marriage and get off scot free. If it ever came to this I would sue LRB for as much as I could!!!<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>


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