SHA: I am very happy for you!! Thats great news.. It will come back very slowly, and before you know it she will be back to the woman she was before FITW!!!<P>I love to see the stories turn out like this.. My story is still going well, and there was a time that I was in the deepest darkest hole, never believing we could be happy again...<P>

Hi SHA -<P>Well, I am looking up from the bottom of the pit....OK - a ledge partway up...dancing and grinning from ear to ear!!!!<P>YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!<P>Knew you and the Mrs. would reach the top some day.....<P>I'm sooooooo happy for you and glad that your Wife is coming out of the fog! <P>And Buddy - I am SOOOOO PROUD of you for all you have accomplished!! Not just for your Wife and family - but for YOURSELF!!!<P>Smile at that man in the mirror for he's grown into one helluva guy!!!! <P>And for hanging in there (even though you got a little shaky there for a while!) you get a big ATTABOY!!!!!<P>Talk to you soon!!!!<P>BIG, BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba

Hey there stranger !!!<P>David and your wife ..... <BR>I know you know what mean !!<P>Jenny<P>------------------<BR>Where have all the cowboys gone ?<BR>Paula Cole

David - what wonderful news. All that hard work is GOING to pay off - with a wonderful marriage for you and the Mrs.!!!!<P>Don't have a lot of time, but I just had to add my congrats to the list. I'm so happy for you. <P>Lori

WOW!!! You guys overwhelm me. I see that I'm not the only lurker around here. It's so nice to hear form so many of you. You've made my day - THANK YOU! So many of you have shared in my heartache. I have to say it's much nicer to share joy. <P>Withdrawal is a difficult time for both of us. It's difficult to see your mate hurting so much. It's even more difficult to know why they are hurting. My beautiful bride took a big step toward letting go this past week. It's a step I have prayed she'd make for a long time. I also understand that it's a step in the process that the betrayer has to make on their own. <P>Resentment rears its ugly head from time to time. I'm learning to beat it into submission when it does pop up. I have realized that anyone can fall victim to this hideous cancer called infidelity. Given the wrong conditions and at the wrong time we are all prey. It could have been me. The true test of an individual is how they respond to adversity. <P>I know so many of you are still struggling and still hurting. Having a new thought or a moment that's pain free seems incomprehensible. Don't ever give up until God lays that time on your heart. It IS possible to recover from this. I'm not there yet, but I continue to have hope. You have to give yourself over to Him completely in order for Him to do His work on you. Also, and this is the hard part, His time is NOT your time. <P>I pray all marriages will recover. I know they won't but I do know they everyone of us will be made better through this adversity. So, keep trying. Give it all you have. No regrets - ever!<P>My road is still a long one, but I'm ready for the journey. I know withdrawal is tough. But, I've seen the fruits of recovery from many of you and those fruits are sweet. You have to press on, one day at a time.J<P>God bless you all, <P>SHA<P><B>2sad4words</B>, <B>kam6318</B>, <B>A blessed Samantha</B>, <B>lonelymom</B>, <B>trying2_4give</B>, <B>Butterfly</B><BR>Thank you for sharing in my joy! I pray the best for you too.<P><B>schizzo</B><BR>Yes I did read BBNC's story - that was really something. I hope things continue to get better for you. <P><B>Bozos_ Deb</B><BR>Deb, I wish things were better for you. I know you are still walking through some difficult times. Do your best. I'm praying for you.<P><B>Roll Me Away</B><BR>Desiree, I'm happy to have brought you a smile. I've known for some time that recovery isn't possible while the OP is still in the picture. I'm happy she made that step on her own. I hope it's true and lasting. Thanks for posting to me.<P><B>Guard</B><BR>Success stories are a rare commodity in these parts. It's a long and difficult road, but it is possible to get there. God answered my prayers whether my marriage recovered or not. He changed me into a man I never knew existed. That was the real answer to my prayers. Hang in there Kevin.<P><B>Just Learning</B><BR>So glad you posted. I know the road before me is still a rocky one. Good days out number bad ones which is refreshing. My bride is struggling with many issues and hurts, most of which she has to resolve on her own. I'm there for her when she needs me to be. Thanks for the kind words. <P><B>RWD</B><BR>I've been following your story. I know you have had tough times, but I also know you have looked adversity in the eye and came out on top. You gave it everything you could and that's all anyone could ask. You're a good man.<P><B>Dazed and Confused</B><BR>Thanks for posting. I hope all is well with you. I know you are going through some tough times right now. I will see the movie. BTW, I still pop into your web page. Keep that up, even though you're off base on a few movies <P><B>K</B><BR> <P><B>bonnet</B><BR>Hi Jo. What nice words you send to me. Thank you. I hope you get to this stage too. Do your best with no regrets that all you can do. No matter what happens, you will be the best Jo that God made. If your H doesn't see that, that will be his loss. You're a great lady. Thank you for posting.<P><B>NSR</B><BR>Jim, I feel honored to receive a post from you. What a giver you are. I hope for only the best for you. You have so much to offer and ask for so little in return. The Lord WILL bless you in ways you never expected. <P><B>chick's</B><BR>Long time no post! It's so wonderful to hear from you again. Thank you for your prayers. God's time is different for everyone isn't it? He continues to do a mighty work in me (I needed a complete overhaul). Thank you for sharing in the joy.<P><B>EMS WIFE</B><BR>Hey newbie. You're in a good place on this forum. The road is long and difficult, but YOU can make it. 16 months ago I never thought I would be where I am. The chasm between my wife and I seemed unbridgeable. Do your best each day and you'll make it. <P><B>Nerlycrzy</B><BR>Gosh, I haven't seen you post in a while. Thanks for posting to me. I'm hanging in there. Patience is my most difficult struggle. Thank you.<P><B>mickey65</B><BR>It is nice to crawl out of that pit isn't it? Sometimes it feels like your handed a flashlight instead of ladder. I'm glad to hear you are doing well too. Thanks for posting.<P><B>Sheba</B><BR>Hey warrior gal!!! You don't deserve to be in that pit anymore; especially you. I'm sending a ladder to ya. You get out of there right now young lady!!! I'm not at the top yet. I'm a few ledges up from you I think. Things are better and I continue to learn and appreciate each day. I still have a long road to travel. Thank you for the kind words - I always like hearing those. You hang in there warrior gal - I'm praying for you!<P><B>jendan69</B><BR>Hi Jenny!!! Thank you for posting. I'm happy things are getting better for you. You certainly deserve some nice times. Thank you.<P><B>lostva</B><BR>Hi Lori, thank you for taking the time to post. It's nice to share good news with friends.<P><BR>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.<p>[This message has been edited by Sir Hurts Alot (edited March 14, 2000).]

Wonderful news!!

SHA,<P>How absolutely wonderful! It's very kind of you to share your success story with the ones here who are so filled with despair right now.

This was one post I needed to read today. I am feeling truly ready to give up and just pack my bags and my kids up and hit the pike. It's so disheartening to hear your spouse defend the OP and leave you and your children in the lurch!!!<P>Interestingly enough, as impatient as I seem to be when I am writing e-mails to family and also on forums such as these, I am really patient with spouse. I guess that's where the active praying comes in. And believe me it is active.<P>Your strength and faith and unconditional love have spread to me a little. Thanks.

SHA,<BR>Just think, if you had never gone through this experience, you would not be the wonderful man that you now are! Keep giving your w reasons to love you the rest of your days together. It's great to hear success stories and it looks like you are headed that way! I am going to pray that your w continues to have the strength to keep fitw at a distance. Isn't God great that He can take something so aweful and make us all a better person from going through it?

My joyful news encountered a setback of sorts. I'm trying to work it through with my counselor friend. I suppose it's a part of the withdrawal process, you know...up and down...up and down...You get a little sick of the ride after a while, but you aren't allowed off. So, you stick it out. <P>I'm OK. Trying to take one day at a time. I tend to shoot for the stars and get depressed when handed the moon. I'm working on counting my blessings and being content. I have a jealousy problem that I need to work on too. <P>Thanks for the kind words and prayers (those are always coveted).<P><B>Janie</B><BR>Hi Janie, I have been hoping thiongs are going OK with you. Thanks for popping in!<P><B>sidney</B><BR>I hope my story does turn into a successful one. Things are better. There seems to be many bumps in the road and I'm trying to not let them steer me off course. Thanks. <P><B>tootrusting</B><BR>This mess we are all caught up in does hurt doesn't it? The path is long and the hurts seem to have their way with us. Give all you can. Pray all you can. Hope all you can. God changes us for the better through this trial. Nobody deserves this pain. But, we can be made better through it. Live your life with no regrets. God only know how our marriages will turn out. We have to let Him do his work on us and our spouse. Do your best tootrusting; that's all anyone can ask. Thank you for posting to me.<P><B>Derby</B><BR>Amen to what you said. God allowed this to happen for what ever reason. I know it isn't in His design for things like this to occur, but He can make good out of bad. My wife is hurting. She's lost and confused. I'm praying that she finds peace and that she can learn to love me again. Thanks for posting.<P>SHA <P>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

SHA,<P>I've followed your situation closely. It's been a long time coming for you, but it sure appears that you are either just on or very near the road of recovery. Yes, there are potholes (ups and downs) even once you are on that road - it doesn't get easier immediately, it's just that once you are on the recovery road you legitimately have a lot more hope for the future of the marriage and true love returning.<P>My wife told me just this past weekend that we are moving forward as a couple, as husband and wife, and that she won't change her mind again. This means that we are on the road of recovery, but I still expect ups and downs along the way. No, there are no guarantees, but the odds just got a hell of a lot better.<P>I think for you also. You've inspired so many - look at all the responses. For me, you were the one who spoke straight, and told me to stop looking for a home run. Since then I've been very happy just to be let into the ballpark, take a bases on balls, or get a single. You can't score any runs if you're not in the park, and you can win a World Series with walks and base hits.<P>So my wife and I, and you and your wife, move foward. Slowly but surely.<P>Remember, the only people who get hurt on rollercoasters are the ones who jump off.<P>SamH

SHA<BR>I haven’t been here for a week and every time I have been in the last month I search for a post from you – hoping that things are getting better. I was afraid no news was bad news. You sure get the posts and they are well deserved because you have been quite an inspiration to many of us. So I’m sure happy to hear about your wife. Again, my situation is closely paralleling yours again. The OM told W it was over 3 weeks ago and W says this is the break she needed. But unlike you, I’m not so sure things are on the mend. Not so fast. <P>So, is your wife back home now (I forgot whether she ever did leave)? I am really happy for you both and the kids. What has their reaction been? <P>Sailor<BR>

SHA,<P>At last a post from you! I'm glad you're seeing some hope once again. I don't post anymore and seldom even lurk. Once in a while i'll look for you, Rutger, or some of the other veterans. <P>For a quick update on me, my W and i have been separated now for almost 2 months. We communicate only in regards to the children. She still has no desire to "work" on us and with each passing day, sadly i'm beginning to wonder if i have the courage to do so myself. I have reason to believe she is still in contact with the OM, but i can't prove it. I try not to even think about it. It's her choice. Last night my oldest D asked why mommy can't come live with us at home. Talk about tough stuff. I could only say "honey, i don't know." <P>I know God is working in our lives, but i have difficulty believing my marriage will ever be restored.<P>I'll keep you in my prayers my friend. Keep the faith. <P>

<B>SamH</B><BR>Thanks for the great post. I hope I'm in recovery - sometimes I wonder. I believe I am and it's a difficult road too - much harder than I anticipated. I used to think that once you got to recovery, things would be better all around - not so. It's still tough, but God is working in my life and I need to relax more and quit trying so hard. You tend to try and fix everything in your marriage when only a few things are broke. The key is figuring out which things. I'm glad things are going well for you. <P><B>Sailor</B><BR>We'll link up at some point. Maybe you could email me - I'm in the old email exchange list. Thanks for the kind words. You know, I think our wives are probably going through some of the same things right now. Recovery is a rocky road too - isn't it? What we both want is for our wives to decide on life with us and settle for us. Things will get better I'm confident of that. My wife never left home. Kids are still in the dark in regards to the whole thing (thank God). Just the other day, my daughter told my wife "Mommy, I hope I can marry some guy just like daddy becasue he takes such good care of you." That put a BIG amile on my face. Thanks for finding my post!<P><B>nlitend</B><BR>Wow! Great to hear from you nlitend! Sorry to hear things aren't much better for you. I hope you are doing OK - your spirits sound well. Try and Plan A the best you can with your wife. The Lord will lead you if you ask him. He'll also tell you when to let go. Do your best with no regrets; that way no matter what happens God will bless you and give you peace. You are in my prayers too buddy. Keep your kids as a top priority; they are truly the innocent victims here - I'm sure you're a great dad. <P>God Bless,<BR>SHA<P>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

Sir, I'm so happy to hear... I mean read, the news!!!!!! <P>Can I say I told you so? It takes time, and patience but it does happen.<P>I'm gkad that you agree with me regarding the fact that ..hey, it can happen to anybody. I find that until you understand that, you're still this far from completely recover. ( OH I know, I would very much like to look good here and say "I know, for sure, with no doubt whatsoever that it would never happen to me!" but how do I know? Our spouses didn't decide they wanted to go trough this either, many of them also though that it would never happen to them.... but then... some things happen and we're in it without even noticing, it's that easy ).<P>the idea is to use the experience we now have and the tools we learned here and create and more solid relationship with our spouses, one that will be as "affair proof" as possible. ANd be able to let go of all the bad memories, and pain, and insecurity when it's time.<P>Once again, I'm so happy for you guys! <BR>Hugs<BR>Kat

SHA,<P>Boy! Talk about being late to the party! <P>I'm happy for you... I check in every so often, and I saw your post... very uplifting! <P>I hope things keep getting better and better for you and your wife.<P>You're another of the good guys around here!<P>~Sheryl

<B>Kat1 & new_beginning</B><BR>Thank you! Gosh, it's great to hear from you gals. I hope things are getting better for the both of you. Today is a great day for me! Thanks for coming out of lurkdom to say Hi!<P>SHA

SHA,<BR>Just another lurker, praying for you and wishing you the best. You have been one of the male "rocks" on this board that I have gathered strength from. Thanks for the update, hang in there.

<B>izzy</B><BR>Thank you izzy! It is so wonderful to hear from so many of you guys. I'm hoping and praying for the best for ALL of us. <P>SHA

Good for you. I know it's hard to hang in there and I only pray for you that it only gets better [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]