I am expecting our tax refund any day now. H is expecting all of it to go to him to pay bills. I think we should split the money.<P>I am paying for house, all house expenses, and for car. He took all the other bills. ( When I met him 4 years ago, I had the house and expenses and THAT WAS IT,car was paid off too.) We now have a 2nd mortgage, and numerous credit card bills. He WAS making 6,000.00 BEFORE the affair (work found out, hes no longer a manager)last check was approx 150.00. <P>He is also continuing to use credit cards, no money duh. (I sound like my D!!!) I have a credit card in my name that I have been using and want to pay that off. Or maybe get new carpet what ever. <P>What's your thoughts on this???? If he doesn't pay the other bills we are in trouble!! I don't want to loose MY house. <P>Tracy

Well, having been a family law paralegal for 18 years, I may be able to answer that somewhat. It does depend on what state you live in. If you live in a community property state, and you were married for the year for which you are expecting the refund, you are entitled to half of the refund no matter who earned the lion's share of the income. Neat huh?<P>Now, how to go about getting that money is another story. I would suggest both of you go to the bank, and have the Ops Manager or someone witness both signatures, and instruct the teller to divide the money into two equal parts, give one half to another teller, then give one half to each party at separate windows - or even via cashier's checks.<P>Just my .02<P>If you do not live in a community property state, your situation may be different.<P>In California, for example, the laws say that you are entitled to spend "community monies" for the necessities of life. These necessities include transportation, housing, food, etc. <P>I'd strongly suggest you consult with an attorney on this just to be sure you don't get in deep bandini with H. Disso consults usually run between $25 and $100.<P>Good luck.

Tracy:<P>Are y'all divorced or just separated? That <I>could</I> make a difference if you're in a non-community property state (which is most states). If you're divorced, the property settlement should state who gets what and how much.<P>If you're not divorced, you definitely need to talk to an attorney in your state. You'll need to tell him/her whether y'all filed separately or jointly and how much each of you made from your jobs (all that should be on the tax return(s)).<P>In my opinion, you and H should be able to resolve this without getting lawyers involved. Obviously you can't BOTH have all of the money, and your suggestion about splitting it seems reasonable.<P>I suggest that you determine the total amount of your bills (yours + his), and then each of you should get a percentage of the refund based on the ratio of YOUR portion of the bills to the whole pot.<P>That way, each of you gets a little something, but NEITHER of you gets screwed.<P>Whaddya think?<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>