<BR>OK I just received an E mail from OM telling me that he's gong to drop by my place of employment.<P>Now here's the weird thing is that he broke it off with me and it was to my understanding that all contact was off.Which I am so glad because I don't want to see or talk to him again!<P>So why is he trying to contact me again? I'm really kinda freaked out because he's just going to come see me in persom and I really don't want to see him.and I really don't want to call him to tell him not to come because I don't want to talk to him(if that makes sense)He's going to be on the road so I can't Email him to tell him NO!!<P>I was just getting to a really peaceful point in my situation and really gaining confidence in my marriage and I don't want it to get messed up'<P>I'm not afraid that I'll have temptations but I just dont want to drag up those feelings that I just got finished resolving.Why his he doing this? He acted as though everything was fine and O.K. and it really disgust me!!<P>What do I do???

Can you call in sick? I don't believe in running, but this might be the answer for you. I can't imagine how hard it would be.

Calling in sick is one option, or if he gave a specific time can you take a long lunch around that time and go have lunch with your husband or something?<P>Or does he have an answering machine? If you know when he wouldn't be able to answer the phone you could just talk to the machine. If he's in a hotel a lot of them have voice mail now and you could do the same.<P>As to why he's doing it, it kind of sounds like he might want to start things up where he left off. If it's any consolation, if you were both single I'd advise you not to get back with someone who thinks he can call all the shots in the relationship like that. Keep remembering, he's not right for you; your husband is.<P>Good luck! Let us know what happens! --HBC

If you work in a setting where you are not the first contact, then tell the 1st contact person (receptionist, etc.) that you are in a meeting, or busy and can't leave.

I would send this OM a reply to his e-mail anyway, for a couple of reasons.<P>#1: Is it at all possible that he may find some means to check his e-mail before dropping in to see if by any chance you did reply?<P>#2: If he doesn't and there is any way you can avoid him... then upon his return home, he will find it and you can make it very clear that you don't want any contact with him. That you and your H are back together and you are very happy to be together again.<P>Also, as the betrayed... My H had several contacts between himself and the OW. I would have really appreciated my H coming to me and telling me that this OW was contacting him and that he didn't want to hide it from me as if he had something to hide but that he wanted me to know that he didn't want any secrets or this OW!!<P>I think that kind of honesty would have spoken alot of love to me, if he had. Because I found out and then it was just another lie and another issue that we had to work through. <P>Just my opinion<BR>Genie

Thanks guys for your replys.<P>Unfortunately calling in sick is not an option for me.Also I work in a very public place so theres really no way a <BR>first contact person could distract him.<BR>As far as leaving a message on a machine he is a cell phone junkie and it is always on and he always answers it.And as for replying to the Email well thats a possibility but wouldn't that be to late?<P>I know it all sounds hopeless!!<P>Also as far as telling my H about it,I have chosen not to tell my H about the affair for reasons that are best for my situation right now.Things are going so well for H and I,since the affair ended and I realized how disgusting it was.I've really been trying to restore my marriage and figure out what emotional need was not met.My H and I have had long talks about why we were so distant and we have really made effort in communicating and showing our love for eachother.<P>What makes me mad is how OM thinks he can control the situation and I really don't know why he is doing this.I guess I could just wait for him to come and then tell him that he needs to leave and not to bother me again.Also that I love my H and I'm working on my marriage.<P>What a situation I'm in!!!!!!!<P>If if you guys have anymore suggestions please don't hesitate I don't think anything could confuse me more at this point!!<P>Thanks<BR>Reina<P>