--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<BR>Well,I took advice from a couple of you and looked up paternity laws for the state of Virginia.According to what I found my H's name could not have been listed on the birth certificate unless he signed paternity papers since they were unmarried.I guess this finally gives me my answer. <BR>I knew all along in my heart this child was his.Why in the hell would he lie to me about this for 2 years?The fact he absolutely knew he was the father and that he had to sign a paper saying he was in order to have the name on the birth certificate really kills me.<P>This law stated that if there is no paternity acknowledgement form signed by the father,the father will not be named on the birth certificate.<P>Ok,now I am crying my eyes out and I don't know how to confront him with the knowledge I now know.HELP!!Where do I start with this?????I know he will say he never signed anything at the hospital.But it is there in black and white that he had to have done it.<P><BR>Thanks for the info guys.<P>------------------<BR>~~~~~Tammy~~~~~<P>If you love something set it free.If it comes back it is yours.If it doesn't it was never meant to be.<P>

Tammy,<P>I am so sorry! I do agree with what Sweetpea said in your other thread. Call the courthouse and find out what the procedure is to file for custody. This may give you some idea as to what to do next.<P>(((((HUGS)))))<BR>Mitzi

Ok,so now that I know the truth how do I approach my H with all of this?I printed out the info I got from the web.I am affraid he willt ry to deny it somehow and say he never signed any paper.But,in order for his name to be on the birth certificate he had to have signed something since they were never married.What if he tries to say something like.....oh she must have lied and said I was her husband in the hospital.My H is known for coming up with some doozies when it comes to saving his a$$.Please,any advice on how to handle this with him would be greatly appreciated.I plan on talking to him this weekend.Thanks in advance.<P>------------------<BR>~~~~~Tammy~~~~~<P>If you love something set it free.If it comes back it is yours.If it doesn't it was never meant to be.

I know this is going to be difficult, but the fact is your H fathered a child and he needs to take responsibility for that. That little girl didn't ask for this. However the child was conceived, the fact remains there is a child; not owning up to that is worse then lying about it. If you are silly enough to have sex with another woman and sillier yet to have sex not using birth control then you better take responsibility for your actions. Unfortunatly, you are baring the consequences; you shouldn't have to. Sometimes it's best just to tell your H point blank that you know and to request telling you more lies. My heart goes out to you; I can't imagine how difficult this is. Try to be objective, I would wonder what else he is capable of lying about if he knew the child was his and did not take responsility for her. There is no excuse for that.<P>I hope you don't think me too harsh...I am just thinking about the pain you are dealing with and the innocent child that never asked for any of this.<P>My thoughts and prayers will be with you this weekend.<BR>LS

Tammy: Didn't you say you had a copy of the birth certificate. In our state there is a spot on it that indicates whether the mother is married or not. If she said she was, then she could have listed him as a father very easily. This would have all been done around the time of the birth, was he with her then??<P>I agree that this needs pursuing. If he is not the father then the whole matter can be dropped, but if he is, the child really does need to be taken care of.<P>Also, when talking to him you can approach it from the standpoint that you want to do what is right for the child. Maybe that will take some of the heat from him, and he will come clean. Who knows. <P>Will be praying for you! <BR>

That's exactly what I was thinking. I've had three babies in Virginia and I filled out the form to apply for the birth certificates. I never had to prove that I was married and my husband never even saw the applications. She could have easily marked married and filled his name in without him knowing about it.

So,what do I do now?I would call the hospital and ask about if a form was signed by my H but I am sure they would not tell me anything about it.I suppose there is the possibility she said she was married for the birth certificate.But wouldnt they question about the last names being different?I am sure however I approach this it will be very heated.He will say I am digging up the past and trying to cause problems.But the affair is the past....not the child that came from it.I dont want to sound accusing but yet I need some straight answers on this.I somehow find it very far fetched for her to say she was married to my H when she is not.<P>Thanks for all of your help.<P>------------------<BR>~~~~~Tammy~~~~~<P>If you love something set it free.If it comes back it is yours.If it doesn't it was never meant to be.