I havent been here for a long time, I have reposted my story (with more details i guess) And with the responses i got I JUST had to tell Both of you Thank you SO MUCH! You were Both such an inspiration to me while I was down and out, and you still are. Your words,prayers,and genuine caring personalities Have meant so much to me in my recovery and healing.<BR>If the two of you are not here posting anymore, This Board lost alot when you left. and if you are here lurking Please speak up. Thank you<BR>And God Bless<BR>LoveOFmyLife (Ginavan)

Dear Ginavan, LOML -<P>So glad you are back.<P>The board has changed a little, hasn't it? But most of us oldies are around as lurkers - but I still manage to post to others and once in a while post a thread, but I am so much better than I was 1 year ago.<P>Not Again is Bozo's Deb now. She posted a thread a few days back called "updates, updates post them here" - or something like that. <P>I didn't know who you were, but saw that your thread got slammed pretty hard. I usually don't jump on a bandwagon if someone is getting slammed. There was a spouse of a frequent poster who posted about his confusion and I couldn't believe on the slamming.<P>But, remember, it is usually those in the greatest pain that slam others. I can tell by your posts that you have grown a lot in the last year.<P>But, I also see that the affair is still alive in your mind, and that you are still pretty much in confusion, because the bottom line is that God hates divorce, and he is not a God of confusion. Knowing God's character gives me discernment in this situation, Gina.<P>Gina, Todd is not your solemate, and is not the man that God desires for you. I am sure of it, in no way would he have been chosen for you. There are supernatural powers in this world, and that doesn't mean that all supernatural powers are from God. To know the difference of signs - you have to know God's character.<P>I know you truly desire to have what God desires for you. I would say right now He would want you to know him better, so that you will not ever be confused about his will for your life.<P>God Bless, don't stay a stranger, okay? You sound so much more stronger than you did a year ago. Keep posting and reading.<P>TNT <BR>

TNT<BR> Thank you so much for your reply. i know how much God Hates Divorce, And those (like yourself) who were here when I was going threw the guilt ALSO know How much i tried to save MY MARRIAGE.<BR> Yes I am much Stronger now than a year ago. Thanks too all of you who were there for me when I needed you.<BR> I still have some growing to do I'm sure we all do, There is always room for improvement with one self.<BR> Todd may not be my soulmate, But I still have to heal and sometimes I wonder if thats what this ia all about. He was a part of my life right or wrong how he became involved he still did. and I have to put closeure to the past before I can go on.<BR> Thank you so very much You have NO Idea How greatful I am too have you post back to me.<BR>God Bless<BR>LOML (Ginavan)

I just wanted to say that my post was not intended to slam you...<P>Obviously from a brief post, none of us have all the background info, and cannot know all that is involved. However, I do not feel that God led you to your affair, and did want to make that point; I am sorry if it sounded a bit curt, I should never write when I;m rushed. I also did and do feel for your obvious pain and was sincere in hoping that you find peace...<P>Kathi<p>[This message has been edited by kam6318 (edited June 08, 2000).]

I knew you knew that about Todd. And, I know that you must be feeling kinda lonely or you wouldn't be thinking about him so much.<P>Gina, are you going to a Bible study? I think it is really important that those seeds that were planted get watered, ya know? God always throws the seeds out, but we are responsible for the soil. Some seeds fall into good soil, some into rocky soil, and some take root but weeds grow up around them. God doesn't pull up the weeds, because he is afraid it might hurt the plants that he is watering.<P>I think of the affair as sort of a weed that is sitting by the good plant. The good plant is you, Gina. God wants to water you, and wants your roots to go down deep. He wants you to grow healthy and strong and to outshine all the weeds that are around you. <P>God will use all things to work together for good, Gina. There is nothing wrong in praying for Todd, and loving him in an agape way. But, I also think that you need to keep your focus on the Lord - so you can really know where the signs are coming from when they come. You need to know God's character - deeper and deeper. We all do. It makes a difference.<P>Faith is something that the Lord has given you, Gina. You are more than a conquerer through Christ Jesus. <P>You coming back to this board may have something to do with what God has for you. I know that when you first came here that the Lord directed you here, just like he did me.<P>There is a great forum on this board at the Women's Bible Study - it's pretty far down on the list, but it may really help you to keep focused. Get to know those gal's. You will find that they will stand with you in your thirst to seek God.<P>God Bless,<BR>tnt

TNT<BR> Yes I am very lonely and most likely why I came here to post again.<BR> I have never been to the women's Bible study forum (must be new)<BR> When I was younger I was forced into the church thing and became bitter towards it, However when I came to this board (the 1st time) I started to restore my Faith in God. My OWN choice! What a wonderful feeling.<BR> That was when I went to the church Larry and I were married in and everything hit me like a TON of Bricks, The Pastor who Married us told me to write Larry A letter and I did(the letter was posted here).In the letter I was to give him a time frame I gave him 30days. I never heard a word from him. When I went back to the Paster He told me it was time for Closure on this chapter of my life and That is exactly what I did.(was the hardest thing I ever did) But when I think about it now Was that sound advise for a Man of the Lord to give me? I think NOT and then again I lost alot of faith I had.<BR> I feel I am a very strong person due to my life choices After all we learn from our MISTAKES (some of us) My Life has not been an easy road by any means (due to my choices)But because of those roads they made me who I am today! AND that I am THANKFUL FOR!<BR> I wont leave this board even tho I am SO angry with some of the replies I got, But I feel the best way to deal with them is to PRAY for them. If they could have seen the pain that I went threw with my guilt and Healing Most would hang their heads low For their comments. I just hope that those who are tring to rebuild their Marriages due to the H/W having affair UNDERSTAND that even tho they sufferd greatly That Spouse ALSO suffers maybe even more so.<BR> That unfaithful spouse feels and sees the hurt they caused evrytime they look at you OR at the kids OR the people who were involved They will most likely be judged By Many for their actions forever!<BR>Something ONLY a betrayer has to live with the deep dark Facts of what they have done. AND beleive me this is a very hard thing to do.<BR>God Bless<BR>LOML (Ginavan)

<BR>I'm here, I'm here ,Hi Gina, it's me, Not Again. Now known as Bozos_ Deb. I changed it because Mike, my h, started posting here as debs_bozo. I wanted us to match. I'm not here all the time like I used to be, (too tired with the Hep C active again) but I'm still in and out. What can I say execpt that I'm hooked on this board.<P>Gina, I know you are lonely and I know you hurt. I am sorry for that. But please hon, listen to what TnT said. You need to surround yourself with God right now. He loves you more than <B> ANYONE </B> else ever could.<P>I know that is hard to accept when people have shoved religion down your throat. So.. we won't talk about religion, let's talk about relationship. Talk to God, talk to him just like you talk to us. Be open, be honest. That is the thing I love so much about Him, I don't have to be "On" when I talk to Him. I don't have to try to be funny, or sweet, or try to impress.<P>He knows me, and He knows you. There is not a thought we have that He doesn't know. Not a move we've made He hasn't seen.<P>Just one thing about asking God for a sign, (Yeah I read through your other post too, not much but some, like TnT I didn't know it was you), don't, Why ? Because, you have an enemy and he knows you, not like God does, but he knows you and he can and does manipulate peoples thoughts, and desires. he is a deciever. <P>Put thoughts of Todd on the back burner, right now think of Gina, and what she needs in her life. You need peace, you need time to think. You need time to get a firm relationship settled between yourself and God. <P>If you and Todd are truely meant to be together, let God work out the details, that is His job, He's great with details.<P>OK, OK, I'll stop now, didn't mean to preach a sermon, but what do you expect of the grand-daughter of preachers ? It just flows sometimes. <P>I am glad you came back here, we do care for you. We want you to be happy. <P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>

Hi Deb,<BR> Great name (I like it). I think I was just leaving the board when your H started posting. How wonderful the 2 of you can post here together for your own healing and A look at both sides for the readers! Hats off too the BOTH of you !<BR> I am so glad to have found some old timers here You,TNT,Wasstubborn. Thanks guys you pulled me through again. Just wondering does anyone know is (sir hurts alot) still posting? Hope he is doing good. <BR> Well I think that i have been here enough today The slammers sent my day right into DEPRESSION. So I am going to soak up some sun and write some poems.<BR> Thanks a BUNCH you guys!<BR>God Bless each and everyone of you !<BR>LOML (Ginavan)

GinaVan,<P>I don't if you recall me, but I am fairly certain I posted to you when you were Ginavan. I do recall you deep guilt and remorse. I read the other posts while catching up from traveling last week.<P>I suspect that the apparent harshness comes from sensing that you are not over Todd yet and are still struggling. It is often difficult to understand how people make the choices they do and then don't seen the looming trainwreck if they get what they want.<P>As you said you are lonely and this leads to many "what if's and I wonder if" issues. TnT and Bozos_Deb gave you great advice. Hang in there and get yourself straight. I also sense that you still have many issues to deal with.<P>As for the Pastor, just remember he is a human like all of us. He gave you the best advice he could, but the best advice will ultimately come from within yourself as you pray. Think about that. <P>You realize you did great harm to many people(I do remember the things that you posted about what you did to Larry during your marriage) and you realize that much of your perspective is still focussed on you. As you heal you will begin to see that you will have to reach out and make other peoples lives better and happier. As you do this, you will become happy with yourself and respect yourself.<P>Take care and keep posting. Things will look up.<P>God Bless,<P>JL