So, I'm listening to some music and Foreigner's song entitled as in the subject comes on. It gets me thinking. Do I really know what love is? I guess I'm not so sure right now but I think I will know when this whole thing is over.<P>I wonder if the value of a lesson is directly proportional to the toughness to learn it. My WS is cetainly going to teach me the true meaning of love. It's a lesson I intend to learn well.<P>Prayers for all!<BR>

I like Foreigner. Isn't it something? How we hear certain songs and when we listen to the words, it can touch us in the heart.<P>I don't think that I knew what love really was until my H betrayed me and I stayed with him through thick & thin, even though he inflicted much pain on me.<P>After it was over, he even commented, "You must really love me or else you wouldn't have stayed after what I've put you through."

It's a little funny though. Two months ago, I would have cried like a baby over hearing this song. Now I listened and felt encouraged. I know I will pass this test. I only hope my wife stays as my teacher.<P>"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear . . ."

I remember just looking at an exit sign (of where OW lives) on the parkway and would start crying OR even just see an affectionate couple together (even an elderly couple) and I would start crying because I thought that my marriage would never start recovering from the trauma that hit it. Or, sometimes I would just be driving in the car, and would start crying!<P>It's interesting that you say that these songs now encourage you. I think that is great! It sounds like you are growing stronger and headed in the right direction, emotionally & mentally.<P>I think that we don't really realize just how strong we are until something like and affair happens to us. I never realized that I could survive this, becoming patient, understanding, put aside my pride from being so broken & hurt....Regardless of the outcome (fortunately it worked out for me), I passed this test. I know that you will too.

ZIt seems we're browsing the site at the same time. <P>Yes, I do feel stronger. In some ways I feel healthier now than I have ever been (particularly emotionally and spiritually). I have spent a lot of my time shedding my excess baggage from my youth and prior relationships.<P>I don't know it we'll remain married when this is over, but I know that I will emerge better for having gome through it.<P>I'm SO GLAD you and your H are doing well.<P>"That which does not destroy me, makes me strong" - Friedrich Nietzsche

I also have a lot of excess baggage from my childhood/youth and from my first marriage that I didn't deal with. I still don't think that I have fully dealt with it. I just kept hoping it would magically go away if I ignored it.<P>However, I think that the reason why I didn't know how to cope with my current marriage or be more supportive & affectionate towards my H is because I didn't deal with the problems from my past. I realize that now.<P>Therapy, books, learning from others on this forum has helped me. I think that I am becoming a better person than I was because I now recognize this and I am trying to work on myself.<P>