My husband and I have a very dear friend that went through the wringer 10 years ago with his wife. She was involved in an affair, left her marriage and her child to be with this OM. Went through court proceedings, (the natural father, our very dear friend gained custody, though how, I cannot know in today's court system) and felt the marriage was over. He tried everything in his power to get his wife back, she didn't budge. Time passed, which was 6 years ago, and he got a call from the ex-wife. He was not willing, of course (after being so hurt), but she was dilligent. She sent him I love you letters, e-mails, cards and finally got him to the point of where he would at least meet him. They started back slowly (he was really cautious) and from what we've been told, started "dating" again. I don't know the whole story, only what my h has told me and from what I've seen of John (he's a truly special person), and she was really rotten to him. I kind of actually despised her for what she did.<P>But what I have seen of her and the person she is is completely different from WHAT SHE WAS. She is a kind, compassionate, caring and loving person now. She loves her husband implicitly. You know, I truly couldn't stand what she did to this wonderful man, knowing how he was only a person that wanted to love his child and his wife, and how she turned her back on him. But she wasn't the same. She had grown and learned what marriage and love was truly about. I saw it in her eyes. SHe's been back with her husband for several years now and has shown him, through actions what she believes her marriage to be. <P>People do change, and do learn, and do grow. That's the beauty of it all. We ALL have the ability to do that. <P>[This message has been edited by Connor (edited July 23, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Connor (edited July 23, 2000).]

wonderful and moving.<BR>I too am working on change. My H had a brief affair, but I realize now that I had become a different person - not always supportive, and definitely not focused on our marriage. I let the stresses of living, children, work, no work, etc. eat me up as a person. My husband did the wrong thing, but I do hold myself accountable for the part I played in how we got to the state we did. So now I am faced with a situation where my husband, although at home, working on our marriage, going to counselling, not in contact with OW, still cannot utter the words "I Love You" which tears my heart. I must be patient, and restore our love and trust with each other.<BR>Change is already happening.