I survived the weekend! <P>My H and I spent yesterday together, and it was so nice! I really miss spending time w/him.<P>We were on our way home last night and passed OM on the road. He looked <B>awful</B>! In a way, I felt guilty (for him looking so rough--like it's my fault), but then I decided I didn't. He made choices just like I did, and what we did caused so much pain and heartache. He's responsible for his actions, I have no reason to feel sorry for him. I don't! It's no longer "my fault" that he's miserable, he has to deal w/the consequences just as I did. I don't feel sorry for him anymore!! (Which is a good thing!) It was a real turn off seeing him last night, and that feels so good not to have those feelings for him. I can't believe I even missed him the other night. I think I've missed the "thought" of him, not actually him. I'm so glad that I know that now.<P>Anyway, this morning I woke up and my H was cuddling and hugging me. He was telling me he loved me and asking me if I was sure I loved him, etc. I said yes, with all my heart and asked him if he had had a bad dream. (He used to have bad dreams about OM and me a lot.) He said yes, but didn't tell me about it. (I think the bad dream came from us seeing OM last night.) I told him I loved him so very much, HIM and only him. I also told him I never wanted to lose him again, that what I had done in the past was very stupid, and I'd never be that stupid again! And I meant every word I said, with all of my heart!!! I felt bad that he had a bad dream, but it felt so good to feel him "needing" me again. He does need me but doesn't always show it. I've be very "needy" lately, and it's so nice to know that he needs me, too, and doesn't want to lose me, either. I think it brings us closer together when we feel that way.<BR> <BR>As I was getting ready for work this morning, I had a wonderful "realization". I am very happy with my life. Not that I haven't been happy, but I was really reminded this morning (and last night when we saw OM). I am SO glad that I didn't end up w/OM. What a mess that would have been! Sometimes, I don't know what I was ever thinking. Pure stupidity. My H and I have our struggles and hard times, but we are very lucky to have each other and three beautiful children. I know that I don't ever want to be without my H! I've known that for quite awhile, now, but it feels so good to TRULY know!<P>Just thought I'd let you all know how much better I'm feeling. I think my withdrawal is pretty much done and over with. It's been more of an occassional "mood", than a constant sadness. I am getting through this, and I think I'm finally getting over him. Not that I won't ever miss him again, but I can be objective now. I know what I miss is in the past; it's not reality, and it's not the future. My marriage w/my H is the future, and that feels SO wonderful!!! <P>Thanks for all you help, you guys are great!!

Momma, that's great. Oh, I wish I could hear something like that from my H. I think it is great that you seem to be moving out of the withdrawal. Good luck to you as your journey continues.

[img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>Yeah! I'm glad you made it through the weekend. You know, we'll probably get those fleeting moments every once in a while, but notice how short this one lasted - one weekend. In the past, I can remember thinking about the OM almost constantly. I think it really does get better with time. <P>Those fleeting moments become less and less frequent, less and less intense, less and less rational. I'm glad you were able to spend some time with your H.<P>I'm still recovering from my weekend - it was a little rough - in many ways, but on Sunday morning we were helping our friends pack up and leave. We were just standing in the driveway alone, and my H reached over and held my face in his hands and said "I just love you so much." It was so sincere, I melted. <P>I guess the important thing - there may be ups and downs in every relationship, but true love remains. Great update!!!<P>

Glad to hear it, momma! I knew you'd be OK.