JL -<BR>I went out ant got Men Made Easy. I wanted to ask my H if all of it was true! But I did find something that explained why he feels my timing is always wrong. Part of it is my approach with the dreaded words and I usually hold off discussing things until I'm fed up with his actions. <P>So, I guess I did learn something from that book. Was there anything else I'm supposed to pay direct attention to?<P>Vee

Hi Vee,<P>No, there was nothing specific, that I had in mind. Just thought it might give a different perspective about things. Did you ask your H? If so what did he say?<P>Did you find anything that surprised you or was it pretty much as you expected? Sometimes seeing things written down and stated differently leaves a different impression.<P>How are things going these days?<P>Look forward to hearing from you.<P>JL

JL - <BR>Last week didn't go so well. I heard a voicemail message from the OW and blew my top. Awful fight that lasted two days. I decided to go back to Plan A and told him he had to make the next move. He wanted to argue over old stuff and contiue to play the blame game. I just wanted him to give me some pointers on how we could fix things.<BR>He asked if we could talk about it the next day, I said sure and left the room. all I got after that was a bunch of cynical remarks. But that was last Monday. <P>We still haven't talked about trying to create a plan on working on our marriage. Today won't be good because he's bringing his team mates over after practice, so I'm disappearing to some other part of the house until they leave. We've been a bit too busy this week, so I'm going to ask him for a date on Friday. That way, I'm not perceived as having bad timing. <P>I still hate the OW, would love to do another voodoo spell on her (I did once and it worked - felt bad afterwards and vowed never to touch that stuff again as well as prayed for myself). Overall, this has been a good week. <P>But the book was really very helpful. Thanks for the suggestion!<P> Vee

VOODOO! sweeeet.<BR> Vee, I wanna know how to do voodoo on OM. <p>[This message has been edited by homer (edited July 26, 2000).]

Homer, <P>Behave yourself. <P>Vee,<P>How old is your H? I may have asked you this before, but remind me. I think you do need to talk with him, but what also needs to happen is for him to grow up. Some of this will happen with time, but some of it may require some gentle persuasion on your part.<P>Here is where may things you have learned in that book just might come in handy. You know it will take time so hang in there. <P>Yeah, lay off of the voodoo stuff. The OW will take care of herself, don't worry about that.<P>I am still waiting to hear what Annc has learned from it as well. YOu know you read something and it makes sense to you, then you wonder is it just you or does this really make sense? That is why I was asking about what you learned and what surprised you.<P>Anyway, take care and keep going. You will prevail.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

homer - <BR>the website for voodoo is .... <A HREF="http://www.spellsandmagic.com" TARGET=_blank>www.spellsandmagic.com</A> <P>I'm still waiting for the money spell I did to work! <P>But I promise - I did the spell for chaos and the same day - her fiance caught her red handed. Let's just say the end result for her was not pleasant. <P>I felt sooooo bad, I immediately called the spell off and prayed for forgiveness. But I wish her the worst life possible (sorry, I'm still a little ugly).<P>JL - can't elaborate on your other post right now (lots of company), I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow!<P> <BR>Vee

JL -<P>He's 25. I'm 24. I'm not sure why he's the way he is. We're both the oldest of 3. I've spent most of my life looking after my sisters since my mom was a single parent until I was about 14. So I've always been a little old for my age. I think that maybe he's still stuck in that time warp where you don't realize that you're getting older and old habits die when you marry. Like I said, this has been a problem even before the PA. <P>He'll go somewhere, but I can't go with him. It's irks me to no end. I don't go out mainly because all and I do mean all of my friends now have children. We're all 24, and their kids aren't even 1 yrs old yet. So what am I stuck with for fun, my H. I'm having a bad day now, because I'm aware that he is still contacting the OW. Saw her # on his phone log for his cell phone. I hate being in this mess right along with his unwillingness to follow through with his actions. If you say you want it to work - then you had better have an action to go with it. <P>From the book - I was impressed with her explaination of how men and women communicate and what their expectations are about marriage. I never came into this as trying to change anyone, I just wish he'd grow up a bit faster because, I'm tired of the staus quo. My friend is going through something similar with her H. They're currently separated. Her H is younger than she is by 2 yrs and has a lot of growing up to do also. That is her main complaint. So she said she's tired of waiting and is planning to file for a divorce. I wish this didn't have to be so hard. <P>I tried talking to him last night after his friends left and things were clam, but I didn't get anywhere. Now my timing wasn't off, so why am I not getting a response? I've tried again today via e-mail (nice letter using the books techniques) and have no response as of yet. I'm sure I'll probably never get one either.<P>Sorry for the vent - but I'm back at square one again in some many ways.<P>Vee