Hola Friends,<P>My AHO was granted for 1 year against OW. OW cannot contact me in any way whatsoever, nor can she come within one mile of my home or my work or she goes directly to Jail and does not pass go or get $200 smackers. Judge was very firm and serious with her.<P>Details:<P>OW was not at all what I expected. I was in complete shock! I thought she was going to be a blonde bombshell ... lets just say she has had a very very hard life and her face shows every bit of it. I was so blown away at what she looked like that I could hardly believe it really was her. She did not look 43, she looked 60, I'm not exaggerating, and if you don't believe me you can ask my therapist, she attended too! <P>OW was very BIG, 6'1" maybe, and I'd say a size 16. I thought her implants would be a really prominate feature, but they did not even make an impact.<P>She just looked very hard and spent. I still can't believe it. She looked like a heroin addict.<P>The proceedings started where the Judge told me he had reviewed all of my evidence and was very up-to-date with my case. He then asked me if I had anything to add, I sd "not at this time your honor." Then he turned to OW and asked he if she read my statement and she answered "yes", he asked "Did you harass Mrs. W on the phone by leaving messages on her answering machine", OW sd "I did your Honor but I have an explaination", Judge sd please state it.<P>OW spent 38 mins telling the entire court room the whole story starting from 1991. Every 10 mins the Judge would ask her again, did you harass Mrs. W, OW kept answering yes. OW then said Mrs. W (me) drove by my house and called me but hung up. Judge asked me did you do that, I sd "no your honor, I did not." Then Judge asked OW "do you have any evidence" OW sd "I don't your honor." OW started crying, she sd "I've been with W's H for 8 years, we've been a couple, in love, together for 8 years (she said this 4x) and W is just jealous and angry. That's why she's doing this" Judge sd "Did you call and harass yadi .. yadi .. yadi.." Then OW sd "I want to file a harassment order on her", Judge sd you have the right to do that, however, because of the the lack of evidence you won't be filing it in this court", OW sd "HOW WILL I PROTECT MYSELF???" ~sob sob sob sob~<P>She was angry, very angry. I saw it all over her "I've been drinking and doing drugs all night and haven't slept face."<P>Then the Judge sd "Mrs. OW, you are not to contact Mrs. W in any way whatsoever, you are to stay at least 1 mile from her home and place of employment, if you violate this order I promise you, you will go to jail, no question. [Judge was pointing his finger at her]<P>I was then given a police escort out the door and to my car. <P>I will finish this in an hour or so, I have to leave from work to get home. Please stand by for the rest of this saga.<P>Jo<P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited August 03, 2000).]

Jo!<BR>It's great to hear from you! I was wondering how you were doing.<BR>The thoughts you had when you saw OW shows you are a strong and caring person.<BR>I'm glad she's not allowed to do anthing to you. She's a sick person, and she showed that in front of judge.<BR>Good work jo!<BR>I'm sure you are proud of yourself... I am <BR>Meg<BR>

Alls I can say right now is WOW. I believe I posted to you that maybe this would not be so bad....that you will make it through alot easier than you think. That the fear of going is far worse than actually being there.<P>Good for you....I wish I had your luck.<P>Nancy

-ing ear to ear...<P>...it's good to hear the judicial system works...<BR>...once in a while!<P> <P>Jim

That's great! Congradulations....<P>Can't wait to hear the rest. J

OK, standing by for the nest installment.<P>And really proud of you for being so "resilient"

It's hard to summon some compassion when you have been terrorized by someone in more ways than one. You've done it. That's so cool. <P>Justice is served--that's cool, too. It's great when folks get what they have been asking for and completely deserve. <P>You are to be commended for acting like a lady. I don't know if I could have done it! I am still at the stage of wanting to pound the OW to a pulp. (Trying to get those thoughts out of my head!)

Way to go, Jo.<P>This is amazing but do you think that perhaps in all the world there is just one OW...because the one you described sounds just like my H's OW...tall, pitiful, looks like she's lived a hard life (she has).<BR>And you know if you could feel empathy for her, imagine how your H feels.<P>Anyway, you were great and it sounds like your troubles with her may be over. Well worth all the worry, huh.<P>Buffy

I spoke to OW on the phone just once. She sounded like she had spent the last 10 years on death row, her voice was so gravelly from chain-smoking. As far as being as lovely as a rose, she's a bit on the wilted side. (My H went for an older woman--forget that notion that a guy is looking for a sweet young thang--mine needed a momma.)<P>I still don't feel too compassion for her, so you are one up on me.

Okay ... here's the rest:<P>As I walked out, my girlfriend heard OW ask for taped copies of the court transcripts. <P>OW was not allowed to leave the court room until I had left the parking lot, they held her there.<P>The detective told me that he believes OW will try her best to file something against me, he said if she does she's not very smart as there is no evidence and on top of that she lied to the Judge twice. If OW does ANYTHING like that, I am engaging my attorney PRONTO ... I've had enough of this soap opera.<P>So you guys heard the part where she said my H and her have been together for eight (8) years, right? She said "Mr. H and I have been together as a couple, as a MARRIED couple for 8 years and W is just the wife."<P>You guys, this is scary stuff, at first I thought this is just more crap, you know I consider the source. Then I thought about it and I know for sure based on history there is no way, plus she said they were married, she is MENTAL.<P>I called my H and talk to him about her statement (no LBs), he said "no no no", sd he and OW have been doing this A for 1.75 years max and that is it. Sd "you know, Resilient, you and I have done everything together and we were tight, think back". I then asked him what's wrong w/OW, why would she think that, he sd she bases it on how long she's had OC.<P>Basically, after seeing OW I am now seeing that my H feels enormous guilt and empathy for her. She is a mess ... and I too feel empathy for her, but my Therapist sd this "she made all the choices that brought her to this place, Resilient, do not feel guilt or sorry for her, empathy yes, but not guilt. You've done the right thing". Therapist sd ...<P>OW got implants, her choice, which then leaked and caused her probs and uses it to manipulate H with guilt.<BR>OW slept w/a married man, which resulted in OC (more guilt manipulation).<BR>OW harassed me and broke the law AND was repeatedly warned, which resulted in a AHO.<P>Continued bad choices by OW and always the same unwanted results. She is not learning and probably never will.<P>So there you have it. Sorry if it was long. Tried my best to encapsulate it.<P>Jo

Hi Jo,<P>I think you did the right thing. You HAVE to protect yourself. <P>But there are legal issues and moral ones. None of this is your fault. This woman is definitely twisted in the head, but your ability to have compassion shows what a wonderful heart you have.<P>All of this is very, very sad and so preventable. I hope you are able to breathe a sigh or relief now and get on with your healing and your life.

I've been away from the board for several days, but had to see if you'd posted something about your court encounter.<P>Way cool. It's nice to see the Good Guy come out on top for a change. Good on ya, Jo!!!