I just discovered a receipt that show my H rented an adult video while I was out of town visiting my mom in July. Now I have been under the impression that my H is only seeing OW casually at work and that there had been no physical involvement since D-day.<P>What do you think? Does this rental imply he had sex with OW while I was gone? Is he likely to have rented it for himself alone? He has been depressed and has said that he doesn't have much sexual desire right now. Do you think that's just a story he's telling me or what? The only positive spin I can put on this is that he rented it to see if it aroused him as a check to see if his desire was gone or if it was me or what. He's out of town for the weekend so I can't ask him. Also, I don't want to LB, however, I do feel like I'm going to have to ask now if he's had sexual contact with OW since I found out. I think he would admit it if I asked outright. Of course, what am I going to do if he says yes?<P>I am definitely with everyone else who has been posting how difficult plan A is. Sometimes I just want to give it up. I have many livid conversations with H in my head, but so far I've mostly kept them there--just a few minor LB's over almost two month's time.<P>

Hi mcmp,<P>Just wanted to post a reply to you...don't panic. H renting a porn tape does not mean he watched it with OW. It's very likely that he rented it and watched it alone.<P>His sexual frustration does not mean he is sexually dead, and a lot of men (and women) use pornography alone to...well, you know.<P>Why do you think he must have been with OW while he rented the tape? I hate to be so open here, but I know my H has seen plenty of these kind of "movies" all alone. I think that's the point of these tapes, not so much for use with a partner, but more for when a person is alone.<P>That's just my take on it, but you know your H..I know mine.<P>Think about it before you LB him by asking him if he was with OW. If he says yes, you need to decide if you can continue with A, or see if it's time for B. <P>Heck, the way most of us are feeling right now this entire board will be in Plan B by monday!<P>Take a deep breath before you do anything.<P>allison

I guess I thought he might be with OW because we did watch some adult videos together early in our relationship when sex was very new for both of us. To my knowledge, he hasn't been watching them himself since then. Of course he doesn't have much time alone at the house. This trip I took was the first time he'd been alone in the house since our son was born six years ago.<P>I'm certainly not going to confront him about the video, but I will have to ask at some point whether my understanding that he is not having sex with OW is correct. If he is then he has continued lying to me and my feelings towards him would change.