Have been looking around for a non-religious web site (H is atheist) that can help with recovery from affair. Smartmarriage is good. Looked quickly through the other helpful sites. Anyone found others. Is Retrouvaille religiously based?

spnsored by the catholoic church but anyone can attend. They don't really get into religion from my recollection. you can call and ask.

I could be mistaken, but isn't Marriage Builders non-religious? There are a lot of Christians that post--including me--but as far as I can recall there's nothing religious in SAA & HNHN. And there are certainly people other than Christians who post.<P>You might also want to try Divorce Busting, which has infidelity area & forums:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.weiner-davis.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.weiner-davis.com/</A> <BR>

today, infidelity.com is another site that you can try. Best of luck!<P>

Didn't mean to offend.

You don't offend...<P>...I'm Catholic... and was very happy to find Marriage Builders books and concepts to be presented in a <B>non-religious</B> way.<P>The fact that I can merge those concepts with my faith helps me.<P>For those who don't want that faith aspect...<BR>...they still form a great foundation of recovery.<P> <P>Jim

Today,<P>I am basically agnostic and I too have noticed that members here often refer to bible verses and offer religious type guidance. Even though I would normally enthusiastically launch into debate over many many things I've seen posted here, it is obvious to me that most of the time, people here are just trying to help and that most people find great comfort and guidance in religion/dieties. <P>Your H can find wisdom, comfort, catharsis and hope here just as I did as soon as he is ready to come and post! The emphasis on theism I encountered here was one more excuse I used to keep from coming and working on my marriage. But in truth, once I simmered down, this site proved to be a big help!<P>Like you do with all advice, you sort the good from the not so good, the suitable from the unsuitable and use what you can. He is welcome here regardless of his affiliation or lack there of. Not everyone here is a Christian - I kknow that for a fact. I will be glad to offer a few pearls of my own hard earned wisdom as a betrayer, bible verse free <P>When someone replies to one of my posts with heavy empahsis on religious guidance, I still can always find useful and compassionate ideas. That is because I keep my mind open to them and don't shut it off the minute I see a bible verse. I don't take it upon myself to announce then and there that I am agnostic because this is not the appropriate forum for that kind of debate (tho I HAVE been tempted...!)<P>As my H has often said, and tell this to your H - that if you are so vehemently Atheistic that you are just as closed-minded and illogical as (place the name of your favorite religious zealot here), only the other way around! Today, there are a lot more things I'd like to say here and ask, so as to help you and your H in this type of situation but I will shut up unless you're interested .. <P>Feel free to email me if you would rather talk more off this forum traumangel@yahoo.com<P>(yeah I know - an agnost w/ 'angel' attatched to her email name - yadda yadda - but I have a good reason for it, lol)<P>Khyra

Today -<P>I think Khyra expressed it very well. I am a Christian and find great inspiration in my faith, it's a part of me, therefore my posts sometimes refer to the Bible or religious lessons I have learned. I don't mean to offend anyone, it's just a part of me. If your H can get at the heart of the posts, he'll see that there really is some great advice being given on the site. As a betrayer, I have been to the infidelity.com site, and trust me, I don't recommend it for him. The site, at least when I went on it, was very harsh on betrayers - not that I expected everything to be well and good with what I had done. On the infidelity site, there were several times I almost gave up after reading the posts - it encouraged despair - instead of encouraging understanding and support. That's just my opinion. I think most of the people on this site have the same goal - to build happy and heathly marriages, and when that isn't possible, it's about learning and growing from the experience.<P>Please encourage your H to come here, I think it does help on an intellectual level too.

Thanks to all.<P>I agree that infidelity.com is a pretty expressive place. It was a real eye opener for me. Did get me thinking in some very different, and important directions. However this site would have upset me terribly earlier on. It is not a good place for my H to start out!<P>Liked the divorce busters site a lot. Very similar to here and a lot of activity. <P>Khyra, Yes, I believe people here are doing their best to be helpful. One of the things I'm working on is when and how to state my position, explain myself, or give others the benefit of my wisdom :rolleyes :rolleyes I should have kept my big mouth shut when I tried to explain my near agnosticism on this site. That is not the issue at hand! Your empathy could be very helpful to my H and to me too in understanding things from his perspective. I'll e-mail you soon. <P>SKM, I occasionally reference bible scriptures too (mostly in principle but sometimes direct quotes) in postings here and in e-mails to my H. I reference ideas from other religions as well. We are both respectful of the views of others. Quotes are not going to bother him if it's done in the service of an idea that will help our marriage. We would very much welcome your help.<BR>

Today,<P>I look forward to your email - we can talk metaphysical stuff there, <P>I would like to say that I do not look down on people who find what they are looking for in religion. Adultery is an extrememly painful experience - I'd say right up there with divorce and death of a loved one or even being diagnosed with a terminal illness - it is that serious. So I see that it is only natural for us to turn to theism to help us thru this nightmare. So, to those here at MB who are deeply religious, I respect your beliefs, even if I do not agree with them.<P>I'm off to check out infidelity.com - time for debate hahahh! >:}~

oops <p>[This message has been edited by Khyra (edited September 05, 2000).]