...<p>[This message has been edited by Hurting Badly (edited January 03, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hurting Badly:<BR><B>Would some of you be kind enough to browse that discussion and give me some feedback?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>HB, I know I also replied over there on the other board, but I had another thought. A lot of what your wife said to you was familiar -- my wife said some of that to me. Out of love, had thought about separating, unsure of the future. There was definitely not an affair with my W. I guess that those sort of comments don't mean that there is an affair.<P>Your W hasn't made a move to separate, and that is a good thing. Check out the threads NSR pointed you to for other signs of an A. <P><BR>

Your situation can be compared to mine. I also found the poems, cell calls etc. She also totally denied an affair and gave me the "just friends" story. Looking back at how naive I was then, now almost seems comical. <P>However, affair or no affair, you have a lot of work ahead on your marriage. Your W would certainly not seek emotional comfort elsewhere if all was in order. I know this hurts... so did it for me and still does.<P>Be carefull not to look for big obvious reasons, in our case it were small things over many months that caused my W to seek comfort elsewhere...Her love bank was drained so slowly that I never realized it until it was too late. We are now (hopefully) on our way to recovery, but it's a slow and painful journey.<P>Please read this forum and you will realize how similar many of the situations are although we are from all over the world. Love triangles anywhere have so much in common. As someone said last week...it's almost formulaic the way these things work.<P>The good news is that you WILL find help here as I do. Please read the posts...a lot of your answers are in there already.<P>Good Luck<BR>Van