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#402218 09/07/00 09:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 33
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kd31700 Offline OP
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A friend of mine just found out that her H is cheating. There were signs, but he always made her believe that the person was just a "freind". Anyway she checked his email (he did not know she had the password). There were all kinds of cards and letters from the girl saying that she loved him and that she will see him next month and that their 2 year marker was coming soon. They have only been married for 2 years!<P>Anyway when she confronted him he said that he got another girl, who is married to send the emails from someone else's address. Blah Blah Blah. Anyway he lied and then he hit her. The police came and he went to jail. He has not called or even admitted that he cheated. I feel so bad for her. What do you think I can do to support her?

#402219 09/08/00 11:39 AM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 233
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Help her get a divorce. He's been cheating the entire time they've been marriage. Isn't man enough to admit to this affair and the scum hit her.<P>Help her get out of this self distructive marriage. Is this the first time he hit her? Does she really want to stick around for more abuse? Have you introduced her to the board? Maybe she can find support here herself.<P>Just listen to her. Be her friend and be the person she can go to for a great big hug. I have no one to hug during this horrific time of my life and it's kills me. To have someone she can actually have put their arms around her is enough right there. Take care of her. And bring her to us. We can all help.<P>------------------<BR>Lost Soulmate<P>"Character is doing what's right, when no one is looking"

#402220 09/11/00 05:46 AM
Joined: Jun 1999
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Yes, tell her to get a divorce now.<P>And keep your distance, my friend. Hollywood has made a lot of money off of triangles like this. In some movies, the plot is a loving friend helps her get a divorce, they becomer closer, he thinks he has finally become her "hero", and then the next thing he knows she back with her DANGERous ex-husband and being a punching bag all over again. (Most women crave danger and a challenge, especially ones with low self-esteem.)<P>Help her get a divorce and then you disappear. Let her prove herself for a long while on her own away from him before you have any additional contact with her.<BR>

#402221 09/12/00 01:45 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
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I think, depending on whether you are a male or female.<P>If you are a male friend, set her up with a good and responsible support group and call once a week to check up on her. Try to get her friends and family involved, so that you can keep a respectable distance. If you don't want anything on the rebound and 'damsel in distress' situations.<P>If you are female, do likewise plus the physical presence and call more often.<P>I agree with all that the moment a man hits you so bad he lands in jail is cause for a divorce and restraining order. If not, this abuse will be the bane of her and subsequently the children's lives.<P>


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