Howya doing? Been thinking about you and praying...probably not as much as I should. Anyway, we had a great Valentines Day (belated, b/c I was working nites) Let me know how you are.<P>Joel

Hey Zeb. Thanks for praying for me. We are doing okay. I still go through my jealousy fits every once in a while, but other than that, we are doing pretty good. I started playing one of his computer games, and that opened the lines of communication a little. Time is all it is going to take. I don't know how to get rid of the jealousy, and I really wish I did. If you know how, let me know. Please. Thank you again for your thoughts.

Well... that's the $64,000 question, isn't it? I wish I had a silver bullet, sweetie, but the fact is that the green monster hits us all. I still have it and some days are worse than others. I hurt so badly and can't get the OM out of my mind. I pray and pray and pray...God's listening b/c He still challenges me! If you want, read the book of Hosea. Talk about someone w/ fortitude! <P>Hang in there!

Hey there. Just wanted to update you. Our lines of communication have shut down again. I don't know what to do. I started playing his comp game, to open them, and it did for a while, but now he hardly talks to me anymore. My needs are going unmet both emotional and sexual, how do I get him to fufill those without him thinking I am being selfish. He has been talking to the friend, almost every day, and I am about to call her and tell her not to talk to him for a couple of weeks, so that I can try to get him to talk to me, but I dont want to make him mad at me for it. Should I do it? What should I do? If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Dang. And I thought things were looking up for y'all. I can understand why you want to tell the OW to leave him alone. My feeling is that if she truly cared, you wouldn't have to tell her. The issue at hand is HIM--why he continues to emotionally betray you and nurture your feelings of jealousy. Major LB, IMO. It's hard to lay down the law w/o giving ultimatums, but I feel like at some point he must make a decision as to what is MOST important--you, or a semi-romantic relationship w/ her that is headed towards betrayal. He doesn't realize how close to the edge he is...and once he falls off it may be too late for him. I have heard so many people say, "If I only knew what kind of pain my Affair was going to bring my H/W, I never would have done it..." Well, there a lot of people on this BBS willing to tell him about that kind of hurt. And being one who was betrayed, I can promise you thta I'd never want anyone to feel the same hurt I did, and sometimes relive in my mind. You don't want to be at the point where you say, "I <I>told</I> you so..." But unless he pulls his head out, that's where this is leading.<P>So, in answer to your question: No, I wouldn't tell her. I'd tell him. He has to choose, but he also needs to know that you love him and want to build your relationship, and while he pursues a friendship w/ the OW, he is making lots of withdrawals from your love bank. What he doesn't realize is that those withdrawals are adding tension and stress, which likely are making withdrawals from HIS LB. He's hurting himself, and he doesn't even know it. I think you need to talk w/ him, but speak the truth in love.<P>Joel

Well, it has been a couple of days, so I thought I would update you. For about 2 weeks now, my bf and I havent really been talking, and I, for once, just kept my mouth shut and didn't ask why. Well, i guess that is what it took because he is talking to me more, and with more respect and talking to the ex less. Which makes me very happy. So, i guess that is what it took to make him open up. Just me quitting asking why all the time.