I keep reading here about people who actually have conversations with their spouse, whose spouse, even when still involved with the OW, goes places with them. How do they get away with it? Doesn't the OP object? My H will not talk to me about anything other than logistics of visitation. He doesn't even say hi when he comes to get the kids, pointedly avoids saying goodbye to me. Hasn't used my name more than once or twice since he left, even in email. I asked him for his work phone number for emergencies, and he hasn't given it to me. He told me the company name, but not even where it was located (of course I looked it up on the internet). If he wants info on the kids, he emails me. He has asked about how the daughter who won't talk to him is doing at college I think once. <P>He informed me this morning that he had to bring the kids back 2 hours early. Couldn't have told me that when he picked them up, of course, or even last night when they called to say goodnight. Is it just chance that I was an hour and a half late last time he had them for the weekend, since I had to bring our daughter back to college? I suppose it might be unrelated, but I have to think this is his (or her) idea of payback - not that I mind his bringing them back early; I'd prefer he not take them in the first place. <P>Maybe I am imagining it, but it seems like the OW has ordered him not to have any more than absolutely minimal contact with me, and not to see his kids for more than a minimum length of time. On those occasions when he has called to say he would be late, he has called from his cell phone, apparently while still sitting in her driveway, rather than from her phone, which certainly seems to be throwing money away. It is almost like she has read marriagebuilders info, and is playing the part of the betrayed, while insisting that he play the part of the repentant betrayer, with emphasis on the no contact rule.<P>Yet when one of the kids doesn't want to go with him for the whole weekend because of a party or whatever, he asks them over and over if they are sure, offering to bring them to the party and pick them up. If he picks them up in the morning, he shows up bright and early (and bright and early has never been his strong point), telling them that he wants to spend as much time as possible with them. But when he takes them to dinner, he brings them back almost exactly sixty minutes later, and never lingers. On the one hand, he seems to want to spend time with them, yet he cut back on visitation as his kids were begging him for more. <P>A question for betrayers who lived with the OW/OM - is this common behavior for OP's, and would most betrayers be willing to put up with it?
