Hello, this is my first time here. Let me explain my situation. About 5 weeks ago I confronted my husband and her about some inappropriate emails I found. I was convinced they were having an affair, they say they are not. My husband says he has never fooled around on me (we've been married 21 years). They admit the emails were inappropriate and have stopped (I checked). My husband is more upset that I snooped and did not trust him. He says they are just good friends. He call her everyday, she calls him. He goes to her house during the day. I still find their closeness a threat and my husband does not see it that way and says I smother him and he is fed up with it. I will admit I call his cell phone to find out where he is, sometimes show up where they are and am very moody because of all of this. Where do I go from here?

I am sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. I don't blame you for questioning your husbands relationship with this woman. Please read everything on this website! Your husband may not think there is anything wrong with his friendship because it's not physical. But an emotional affair can be just as damaging to a marriage as a physical one. If he cannot or will not stop seeing this other woman out of respect for you, there could be a problem!

Read about Plan A and strive to do your best. Trust in God and Pray - Pray - Pray!! Also ask others to pray for you too! They don't need to know the details because God already does. Just tell them to pray for you and a situation you're dealing with. God will do the rest!

Also pray for you husband! Pray that this other person starts to annoy him. Pray that he sees the negative in her and the positive in you. Pray that he is consumed with guilt when they are together. Pray that God blesses him in awesome ways when he is doing what is right and punishes him when he is wrong.

Trust in God and Plan A!!!

Le

This sounds very similar to the situation I was in before discovery of my W's PA with "friend", except we've only been married for 2 years.

They would constantly be on the computer instant messaging, and there would be cell phone calls all of the time. Additionally, many excuses to go visit each other such as borrowing household items, etc. were made.

I felt like I was going nuts the entire time. Each time I confronted (due to evidence that something was going on, but not 100% proof), I was accused of snooping, that I should trust, etc. and felt bad because I should have been trusting of her.

Your spouse may not be telling you everything. If there are new demands for privacy, that should be a warning sign. If there was / is nothing inappropriate going on, than there should not be an increased demand for privacy.

What is the reason why your H is spending sooo much time with this person? Why is this person his 'good friend'?

This situation has not been fully explained. If you can please do so. As his W, you have the right to check things out if you are suspicious just as he has that right if you were doing the same.

Ask him this, is what he is doing with this OW ok if you do the same with a OM?

L.