I have just been reading again the three states of marriage (Intimacy, Conflict, Withdrawal.) putting this in context with my situation Plane B “no contact” W living with OM 3 weeks now, how do you lead the other back if you have no contact.

Is Dr H saying you can’t at this stage while wayward spouse is in romantic high with OM but if wayward spouse makes contact? For whatever reason then the olive branch should be offered. (Possibly the plan B letter is in its self an olive branch)

Therefore any accidental contact as far as possible should have no love busters and try to make deposits in Love Bank and always treat wayward spouse with respect