</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by IsIt2late:
<strong>You have mentioned that you believed that your H previously showed symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Because my wife shows almost every symptom of Narcississtic Personality Disorder, I was wondering how you were able to deal with this.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Is your wife having an affair? Often times people whose spouses are having affairs will exhibit all or many of the symptoms of NPD... but for it to be true personality disorder those things need to have been present long term and in many aspects of life.
How to deal with it? I don't talk much about the specifics of my life on the forum any more. I have strong ethical feelings about how that impacts marriages in general and mine in particular. And the more I work with people the stronger my feelings about this get. If you want to email me, I would be happy to talk strategies. help@saveyourmarriagecentral.com
My personal feeling is that we all have emotional and mental handicaps... things that make certain aspects of relationships difficut. Some of us have more of those things than others... like perhaps your wife. Is that an excuse for treating others badly... nope, not in my book. Does it make some things more difficult? Certainly. But here's the thing, if you want to have the benefits of a relationship ( of any sort... intimate, career, friend) then there are certain things you need to do. Figure it out, do them. I think for most people if they want something badly enough they figure out how to bring their behavior in line with that goal.
(Can you tell I'm a tough love mom of many boys??)
Now if she's having an affair... we have a whole 'nother topic altogether.
C
