I have not had much contact with "ex-wife" recently...trying to get paperwork/belongings separated.<BR>I talked with her last night and wanted to meet her to sign some stuff. OP was there when she was on phone with me...talking to her in the background. <BR>She didn't really want to meet...made excuses. I actually think it is great that the OP was putting pressure on her. It probably will cause a problem for them.<BR>I told her what I was calling about and she agreed to meet.<BR>When I met her she used the pet name for me that she used to use...was VERY nice. She even complemented me on a couple of things.<BR>I was "businesslike", but not harsh or doing anything that would be a love buster.<BR>I left there wondering about the switch in moods. I guess it was part show for OP, part holding on to any "good relations" between us.<BR>When we moved her stuff out recently, she left some behind...didn't have boxes and/or anywhere to store some things. I said she could come and get it whenever...I didn't care if it stayed for a while.<BR>It seems obvious to me that this is a method that she may be using to have "excuses" to talk with me or see me.<BR>I have decided to take all of those excuses away. I will deliver her stuff to her.<BR>When I take the excuses away, then I can go fully into Plan B and not have any contact with her. (I have to write a letter yet, but will deliver with her things).<P>I still love her very much.<BR>I also know that my sanity is much better now in comparison to the way it has been since this started. It is hard, but I am also accepting the fact that she may never decide to come back (under conditions to work on us).<P>The best thing I have gotten out of all of this is KNOWING that I never stopped loving her and have shown her the love and kindness that is in me, regardless of what she has done to us.<BR>Don't get me wrong, I am not placing 100% of the blame on her (myself and OP as well).<P>If/when she ever decides to come back under the conditions necessary for us to rebuild our relationship, I will have to decide at that time wether I still want to.<BR>Right now I do...tomorrow I may wake up and not want to.<P>Quote of the day:<P>"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say that you cannot do."<BR> - Walter Bagehot<BR>

You sound like you're doing really well with accepting things for what they are, and while not giving up, preparing for any outcome. I admire you for keeping your cool and not love-busting when dealing with her in OP's presence. I would have ripped that kid's head off right now, I'm afraid. Don't give up all hope, and above all beware of her playing games with your head, and playing you and OP off of each other.<P>You sound quite a bit like me: I too am moving from Plan A to Plan B, and move out on Thursday morning. I passed by the house at lunch today to pack up some more things and started to look for my nice luggage set. She came home while I was looking under our bed. When I asked her where it was, she replied "I lent it to J for her trip to Vegas." It was all I could do to keep from exploding. (J is a female friend, a drinking buddy/co-worker of hers who is 10 years younger.) I swallowed my fury and calmly said, "You didn't ask me about that. I really don't appreciate you lending my things to your friends without my knowing." She didn't reply.<P>I went off and packed my bags, and when I finished, I reappeared in our doorway. I said, "Goodbye R, would you prefer that I go to get my luggage from J's house?" Her lip started quivering, and in a tremulous voice, "No, I'll have it back tomorrow evening before you move." I swear I heard her start crying as I left the house.<P>I'm blown away. If she's so sure about what she's doing, so sure that we weren't meant to be, then why the tears? I'm the one who has been crying. She has OM to keep her happy, right? I'm the one who's alone in this.<P>I cannot wait to no longer have to be in this confused house.<P>EC