I've posted once before.....I found out about 2 months ago H was having an EA and PA with OW. Currently though we are seeking counseling.....however, his behaviors just don't seem enough for me to get over the A. He doesn't communicate his feelings toward me verbally not even I love you. I feel like I'm living a lie......I would think he would be trying to show me the "BS" more if he really wanted this to work. Help....help....help.....is there more I should be seeing.....I would like to hear from anyone who has been in this situation.

They call it the fog.

My wife left 3 months ago and still has not talked about our problems or her affair. She has yet to look back. I've had to assume gone forever because that's what I see and focus on myself. Prepare for the worst and should she begin to change I will be strong enough to decide if there is hope for us.

As for you.

Is the affair still ongoing? He may be focused on the affair still or if it's over maybe in withdraw. Plus though it's hard to believe he's also going through a fair bit of emotional stuff.

Have you begun to Plan A - its for you

Get to the doctor for some Meds if needed.

Buy some books on infidelity, look at this site. Reach out to family and friends for support. And always take the high road. Don't become the B**ch or crazy wife he can pin his justification on.

At this point you can't worry about him. You can't change him or make him act differantly. He has to decide that. Work on yourself and learn what you can do to make yourself stronger.

Start to think about the changes he needs to make to fufill your emotional needs.

The hardest thing to understand and accept is our marriage problems didn't happen over night and though we want to fix them right now it just will not happen that way.

BTW - The first 2 months were tough for me. Month 3 is better and I hope month 4 will be even better.

Thanks for the reply.......I have been trying to keep an open mind.......and trying to take care of myself.

I guess the hard part is can I ever trust him again? Do I want to trust him again......should I even try to stick around?

He says the affair is over......but how does one really know......this is the same person who told me it wasn't even going on...LIE! I had to find out by other means even asking over and over....ended up with a P.I.

Good luck!

I have the same questions regarding my wife.

Can I trust her? Would I be better off rebuiding with someone else (no kids)? Do I have the strength and will my needs be filled? etc.

Just remember every day's differant and there will be ups and downs.

I hoped my wifes affair would end so we could talk about us and any future we may have. As I was waiting and getting a little stronger the affair finaly ended when her partner wanted to return to his wife.

What I thought was going to be a good event turned into a big shock for me. I wasn't ready for the affair to end or my wifes negative and angry response towards me because it did end. I was told she would no longer call me for some time as she needed space. That our marriage was over and I should move on. The event sent me right back into a tail spin for a couple of days and I have not heard from her going on 4 weeks now. Then I got some good advice on this board about what she may be going through.

What i'm trying to say is daily events may look one way when they happen and have a differant meaning the next day.