Hi star ,, Im kindof well not understanding.. What do you mean My husband is trying to deposit units.. Im sorry its probably as plain as can be , but i just dont understand,, and about his love language,, being different is this a good thing? Please let me know. Thanks Hurtinhart

Hi Ginger,, Im glad im not waisting my crack ups hahaha,, How have things been for you this weekend? I hope they have been good. I must say we had a realy good one. The party was a success. I will send you some pics as soon as I develope them. Wow, not many come in to this thread anymore, I must be getting boring,. Talk to you soon. Hurtinhart <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hi Hurtin

Glad the party went well.I sent you an email of my latest drama in life.
I wonder where billibones is I am a little worried about him.
Hope to catch up w/you this week.
Dont worry to much about people not stopping in on your thread weekends are slow I think.
Anyway Im here what more do you need. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi ginger,, Im not worried about who comes really just been thinking about billi also and humble. It was nice talking to you last nite.. Wish it could have been longer, but nature has a way of messing with me lol.... Well I just thought I would post back to you, I have to go and make dinner for my rugrats,, I hope things are good today for you. I feel the feeling coming back I wish it would stay away.. Hurtin

Hi Hurtin
I know I sure hate that feeling too.Last night was rough for me.Today I feel a little better.It was nice talking to you too.Stay strong ok. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
We will catch up again soon.

hurt,

You asked about my comment on deposits and love language. You stated this earlier:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> My husband sounds a lot like you, he does all the housework has renavated our house put a new master bedroom, bath, office, laundry room, and just installed new floors in the living room and hall. He painted the house two weeks ago. Takes the kids so I can have time for myself washes dishes on weekeends, and goes shopping with me all the time.. Why can I not realize how wonderful he is.. I mean I do I just ugghh I think you all understand. Why do people mess things up so bad that they could lose everythin </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your husband is speaking to you in the language he knows....doing things around the house, giving you time for yourself...but you admit, that it doesn't make you think he's wonderful. Why not? Well for one thing....you probably speak a different language. For another...he may be working very diligently at fulfilling the wrong needs. Please do try to recognize that he is speaking a language you haven't learned (*where IS that universal translator!!!*). Begin to look at what he does differently....and also help him to know where his efforts will be most appreciated. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

hi hurtin, hi gingersnap, billibones here,havent been on in a while wife and I had a major blow out she told me I thought I was the only one he was screwing silly me well I didn't take it well at all I blew up I said silly me for being faithfull for 20 years the next day I was going to ask her to leave but she text messaged me during the day saying she would with her last breath try to make me happy , when I got home I told her I was going to ask her to leave but decided not to I told her if she wanted to make our marriage work she had to give me her beeper and stsrt working wendsdays so I wouldn't worry she agreed without hesitation so here I am hoping again hope you all are ok billibones

Hi Billibob
I was just telling hurtin that I was worried about you wondering what was going on.Sorry to hear about the blow out but I have had a few of those myself.
Things for me are stressful again but in a different way.H union went on strike his store is on lockout.Talk about adding more salt to the wound.I will say this since I am so stressed now over how we will survive if this last for long I have not been waisting as much time on thinking of his A.I will say tho there are times it creeps up on me and the pain is even worse now.Nowing she offered him a better life than what we have.Wondering if she would be standing by his side through all of this(im sure she would have at first but after 26yrs i doubt it)Maybe I am the only fool left in the world.
I should be the poster child for the saying
"If it werent for bad luck I'd have no luck at all" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Oh well I feel like I am really at rock bottom so I guess the only place I can go now is up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hope all is going good for you and W.Keep us posted.

hi ginger I too feel like a fool a fool to believe love is forever a fool to believe and live the vows I said twice to my wife a fool to trust I went to the doctor fri he said I was on the edge of a nervous break down he asked if I thought about suicide I said yes he asked if I had a plan and I told him I did on d day but didnt do it but I think of it alot and of killing the om he put me on antidepressants he said it would take 3 weeks to start feeling better hope I can hold out lifes hell he also gave me a sleeping pill to help sleep sorry to here about the strike hope he gets back soon heard there talking well gotta go talk to you later

Whats going on now billi?
Has something else happened.I feel like you on the edge of a break down.I remember the summer I was going to turn 10 my mom had a break down no one told me what happened to her she was just gone.She was in the hospital on the crazy ward for 1month.It was a hard summer for me and my siblings.Now as an adult I wonder what happened to put her over the edge.

My birthday was last week,I guess I expected H to make a big deal about it being that last year he totally forgot it.I was disapointed I must say.He told me happy birthday sent me an ecard and we went to lunch which I paid for because he did not bring any money with him that does not really matter I guess after all we are married and share all money I guess it is just the thought.I know things are tight right now because of the strike but my gosh he could have done a little more with out spending money to make me feel special.Oh well I guess it could have been worse.

Hang in there Billi and keep posting sometimes having support from other people really helps.I know it has helped me through some really bad days.

Hi Billibones,, Im so so sorry to hear that you are not doing so well. Take these words ,, Stop doing so much for her, and do for yourself. You are the one that did no wrong, and yet you are the one suffering the consequences. You need to take care of yourself for a change and let her take care of herself. She needs to realize what this is doing to you, and if she loves you she will help you to get through it. Relationships are hard as it is , and when one strays away it is very hard to regain the trust and the respect we need and deserve. Please take care of yourself and remember that for right now you must be number one. I hope that the next time we hear from you, it will be that you are doing just a tiny bit better. May god bless you and give you the strength you need to be yourself.. Hurtin

HI ginger baby!! How are ya,, Yes its me finally i have returned. whewww,,, i finally got my password lol.. Anyway hun,, Im so so sorry that your birthday was not what you should have had. Men are so dumb sometimes, women also but in this case your H. hahahah. And yes your husband should have done more to make you feel special.. Darn girl I have known you for such a short time and I know how special you are.. The same goes for you... You need to do more for yourself and less for him.. Some may disagree with me, but I have learned that the more we do the less we recieve. Well in my case I can't really say that because my husband gives me lots.Star made me realize that my husband is trying to do for me in his way,, only what i want is his undivided attention. That may sound a bit harsh but I do. I feel that is the least he can do . I want the attention he gave his A. Is that wrong? Even though it was a one nite stand he still gave himself to her in a way that I will probably never get. That is hard to deal with , but My question is when , when will I let him into my heart again? I do love him very very much In the beginning I was not sure I did, I actually hated him, and there are times I still do. But im so afraid that I will get my heart broken again that it is damaging what we have right now. Well i got to get my head is hurtin good name huh hurtin-hart lol.. Take care hope to talk to you soon,,, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi Hurtin
I know just what you are saying and I deal with the same feeling,I feel like he gave her so much more than me.That she was worth changing his scheldule making sure he saved time to chat w/her.Plan times to meet online,phone calls and me I'm just the wife of 26yrs I dont need that attention anymore.That is how this has made me feel.The problem is at this stage in my life,the kids are almost all grown,it is just him and I most of the time,and I need to feel love,I need attention and alot of it.I do not think there is ANY thing wrong with us wanting that from our H's after all isn't that why we got married?

Hurtin I know how great you are,a joy to spend time with,I'm sure your H knows it to.I pray he will realize just what you need.

hi hurtin, hi ginger, Im still around, the comment that my wife made I tought I was the only one he was screwing ,silly me, has just been eating away at me, the doc put me on anti deppressants, Ive been on them for 2 weeks today, I started feeling better last weekend, but tue it started coming back, and since wed its been full blown, I dont know how much more I can take, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, I wish god would just take me, I'm so tired of it all

Billi
You do not sound good at all right now.Are you going to any councling??
You need to start posting more so that we can encourage you through these very difficult times.
Today is 11m post d-day for me and I am really down and thinking life sucks but I don't think I am ready to die yet.
Please tell us more of what is making you feel this way,I know it will help.We are here we care.Sometimes it feels like you are all alone but you are not we understand and know just what you are going through.
Please think about these things and post more often so we can help.

Take care Billi,and remember you are worth something.Don't give up.

Hi gang yes its me hurtinhart,,hehehe Billi I agree with Ginger. Please continue to come and post it does help even though you may thin otherwise right now,, I know for myself it was not untill i came in and vented that i started to feel better. Im not saying that every day is a bowl of cherries, but at least i can get by and not have to think about it constantly.. Certain occasions bring it up more for me, Tomorrow is our 19th wedding anniversary, last year i did not want anything to do with it. Last year it had only been 5 months this year i see things a little diffrently. I still have some bad feeling but i am trying to overcome them, for myself for my marriage. Ginger you have been a wonderful new person in my life. Thank you god for letting her into my life and helping me as much as she does. All the laughter she brings me is trully heaven sent.. Thanks Ginger or should i say Cybilllll ??? hahahaah,, Hope that made you laugh..Hurtin <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Thats me crying.
Gee thanks Hurtin,and the laughter you have brought to me has been just what I needed.And yes you did make me laught. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi Ginger,, im glad i made you laugh,, Yesterday was not a good day for me,, all those emotions are running through me again and I just can't keep them away,, I believe the long hours h is working have a whole lot to do with it.. Im alone all the time it seems, of course i have my children but h is not around much lately.. It is bringing back the memory I have of win I first found out last year. Hub was working lots last year around the same time, and it just sucks doesn't it? Well Im sorry i made you cry, was not my intention. I hope things are going good for you . Hurtin <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Today is not good for me either.One year ago today H met OW in person.Today was the day he flew to her state and was with her.I can not get past the feelings I am having it feels just like d-day.It is so hard to believe he did what he did and that he is over it.How do they just get over it,and we still hurt so much inside.Today I wish I could tell OW how much she has ruined my life and me.I hate what this A has made of me.
You ask when can you love again,I wonder when will life be normal again??

Take care my friend I miss you.I havent seen you online much lately.

Hi ginger oh hun im so sorry i was not there for you today. I have been real busy cleaning the house for the holiday, and moving furniture etc, i have not been on too much . Only at late nite. I know Ginger it all seems so unfair, especially like you say how can they just seem to forget . Well hun I really don't think they do forget or have forgotten. I think they just want to move on, and believe me So do I and Im sure you do also, its just harder for us, harder because we never stopped loving them to the point of a A. My h says he never stopped loving me, but for a few minutes I believe he did. I believe he loves me today, but the hurt just wont go away for me either. May God help you to get over this day by day ginger. May God help all of us that are hurting so bad. Hurtinhart