Many of you here on this board don't know me.
I didn't even post on the just "found out" board after d-day 5-16-2002. I lurked, I could barely think, much less, talk to anyone.
I am a FWW (13+ years ago) and a BSx2 (12 years ago and now this time)
When I could finally begin talking/posting at MB -- I used it as sort of my interactive journal. And it helped.
For the past year FWH and I have been in MC and I have been in IC too. I can't tell you that everything is wonderful and rose colored now -- it's not, but we are in a far better place in our marriage than we were prior to the A.
Yes, that may stick in someones craw .. the WS gets a far better marriage AND got to have the fun of an A -- sound like nothing but getting rewarded for doing wrong and causing great pain and harm.
It's not fair... no it's not fair. I have no balm to make it better. Only know that when your WS comes out of the FOG, and is really sincere about working on the relationship and repairing the damage and hurt they've done -- they must live with themselves, and while they might seem okay most of the time, during their "quiet" time and moments it can, and does haunt them. Would you like to live with the knowledge of how you hurt and broke the heart of someone so dear to you?
It's not an easy task at times.
I do encourage you to click on the sig lines of the "old time" MBers ... their old posts or posts they found relevant can help you. If you look down on my sig line you will see a link for my website.
On the site I just put up a list of "physical things" that helped get me through d-day and the many months afterward .. you might want to check it out.
I know this subject header seems very hollow and cold and impossible... but it's not ... no matter what happens in you relationship with WS ... you will be okay -- sometimes that knowledge may be all you have to hang on to.
I wish you peace. Hang in there.
way2
