About a year ago I found out that my husband was meeting women through the internet. He was talking to them on the phone and I know for certain that he met one in person. I've always suspected he met more and even felt that he might be having a relationship with one of them. He swore to me that it was all behind him but I never felt it was true. I never found any more evidence though. Well tonight I found a list of 6 womens names and their phone numbers. 5 of them are local to us one is not. And the lady that I felt he was involved with is listed on here. Back then she lived in another state but this listing has her in our area code. I am so upset I don't know what to do. How do I confront him? I know he will say it's old and he didn't know it was there. But I know that's a lie. Please help me quickly! What should I do?

Your's is a very similar situation to mine. You will need to get as much information as possible. Get a phone recorder from RadioShack. See if you can check his e-mail. Phone those women and tell them you are his wife; in some cases they may not even know he is married. He may get very mad after that, but that would confirm he is in contact with them right? Check into Plan A/Plan B right away. He may not admit anything until you have evidence to confront him with otherwise.

Stay strong!

I agree with Ripped's comments, however, you'll need to prepare yourself emotionally for the truth. I started digging into my wife's EA because I had to know and it was very hard. Lots of crying and uncontrollable shaking as I could "observe" W and OM in communication. It is sickening I assure you. If you do take steps like the recorder, which I almost did but didn't since I knew about the A by that time, just be careful. The things you could hear could be devastating. Unfortunately, the list of numbers is pretty good evidence of some kind of A.

You've come to the right spot. Read as much of the website as possible, it's good. I've also read Surviving an Affair and Torn Asunder. They will help you understand what is going on around you and what is in WH's head.

Sorry you had to come to this place but there are many loving, caring people here who will read your posts and give advice. Good luck.

What do you mean by a phone recorder? Does it record only home phones or cell phones too? I know he would be using his cell phone. I have dialed these numbers but haven't worked up the nerve to speak to the women. I confronted him today and he of course he said the list was old and that the numbers were to massage parlors. I will call and speak to the women when I get more courage. Right now it's making me sick. I'm Type I diabetic and my blood sugars have been extremely high. I don't think I could handle learning any more right now.

(((Tevan))) - big hug!

Take a deep breath. This is a scary place to be right now and we all understand.

If he was calling massage parlors and based on the online infidelity from his past, you could be dealing with a Sex Addict. I tell you this only because it took me ONE YEAR before I realized my FWH was an SA. I went through alot of turmoil and drama that may have been reduced slightly had I known all that information.

If you search on posts related to Sex Addicts, you will find some very good information on here, especially from Cerri. I recently sent her a post on Plan A for an SA.

If he is not being unfaithful to you, he will willingly relinquish all passwords and let you review all phone records. I contacted many OW from phone numbers that I would find or via e-mail. It was hard to do, but I had to reveal. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I was angry. They needed to know. BUT, if you are dealing with a SA, that isn't enough to make it stop, they will look elsewhere and continue to act out.

Good luck and stay in touch!

They mean a voice activated recorder. You hide it in the vehicle or room from where you suspect he makes the calls.

There's also the type of recorder that can be hooked right up to the home phone line and tape both sides of the conversation. No good for cell phone calls though.

The comments about how hard it is to listen to this stuff are bang on. It is horrible! However the content is sometimes what is needed to confirm suspicions that can sometimes be easily covered up by lies. I still shake when I think about the things I heard.