I talked to my daughter on Friday and on Saturday. She says, I would have accepted it but I cannot, considering your situation. He is planning to travel a lot with her (D) in summer, the whole month of June and part of July. He sent her his itinerary. In winter before all this happened we planned to travel altogether. I am out of it now! I wonder how about his great love? Will he be able to stay away from her for so long?
My daughter says that her life has gone to pieces. She wants her family back. She is going to write to him how much she hurts and how much her family means to her.
She told me that when they were talking on the telephone he said to her that if I came home he would move out. But what hurts me most is that when she was telling him about my allergic reaction to the medicine he was not really interested. She only realized it when was telling me about it. He doesn’t care! I don’t understand this! How could he become indifferent to me so quickly! He sent me a couple of business messages. He never asks about my health. Just to be polite if nothing else! And I am not feeling well these days. He has shortened my life significantly and I doubt D will forgive him for this!
There is no end of pain for me! And no hope.

As you read here you have to see that he is acting like the typical WS. Most of them go off with OW (their fix) and abandon spouse and children, even little children. It is almost unbelievable how cold they can be. But I see it everyday here.

kamara -
Happy Birthday. I hope you will do something nice with your family today. HUGS from believer

Thank you, believer. Thanks for remembering.
I hoped to get something nice from my husband for my birthday but alas! he already sent me a Happy birthdy message a week ago! that is enough in his opinion. What a cruel indifferent jerk!

<small>[ March 15, 2004, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: Kamara ]</small>

Well you can still have a nice, happy birthday. Can you get together with your mother and daughter, and not even think of him?

I can be with my mother and daughter but i doubt I will not think about him. I always do unfortunately!

It's your birthday, don't think about him. Don't talk about him. Just enjoy yourself.

I will try to!

kamara -
Hope you had a nice birthday. My WH came over and it was awful. He is still so much in the fog. He blames me for everthing.

I am sorry to hear that, believer. Why is he coming if he is stil in the fog?
I had a huge number of calls today. Everybody, all my friends and realtives called me to say happy birthday. I received many email messages. I have so many people around me. But this jerk of my husband never wrote to me. OK, he did say happy birthday on the wrong date though. Fine.
But suddenly I realized that what happened to me on Wednesday during my chemo session is very serious, I cannot take the medicine that used to help any more and it is not clear if a substitute will be found. And he doesn't care! He never asks me how I am or expresses any compassion for my situation. He doesn't ask me when my CTscan will be and probably will not ask me about the results. It hurts and I cannot understand it. D wrote to him yesterday expressing her pain about what had happened and that she had a feeling that he was also leaving her. No reply. He cannot take bad news, he must be happy. He doesn't care that we, his family, are hurting. Can this be forgiven? Will he when the fog lifts forgive himself what he has done to us? What a disgusting a**hole he is! And I am sure if he doesn't show interest in the results of my CTScan D will not want to have anything to do with him!

<small>[ March 15, 2004, 11:27 PM: Message edited by: Kamara ]</small>

I'm glad you have so much support. It is unfortunate that the one you need the most support from is MIA. But that's what they do.

My WH comes by every once in a while, but never when I need anything. My car is broken down now and WH knew (from his daughter). He could fix it, but cleverly waited until I got a mechanic.

This has happened over and over, so I don't expect anything from him. It makes it easier to be strong.

kamara - What is going on now? Must be nothing new to report. I finally got my car fixed, what a relief.

Believer:
I am glad you had your car fixed.
I had cat scan today, the results will br available to me only on Wednesday when I see my doctor.
My husband is in contact with D now, he wrote to her that he was not at all in a position to
defense himself or give arguments or justification. He sad he had no excuse
for what had happened.He worte that he loved her a lot and was thinking about her. And then he said: "Let us give things a chance to go their own way and see what will happen."
I don't know how to interpret it. He knows that what he is doing has no excuse but he is still doing it. So what is the own way for things to go?

<small>[ March 19, 2004, 06:04 PM: Message edited by: Kamara ]</small>

Well at least he isn't making excuses. He know he is being dishonorable. Hopefully he will change.

Mine lied and denied, and made excuses for so long I got completely tired of him.

Good morning, girls:
I want to ask you something. My H is now communicating a lot with D, he asks her about me and my health. Yesterday she told me after talking to him that she got a hope that everything would be OK.
If I need something I contact him through her.
So it is not me but him who is following paln B with me. Almost. So my question is -
why? Why does he avoid any contact with me. Is this a normal case?

kamara-
Yes, completely normal. He is ashamed, and should be. Hopefully he will still come around. How is your daughter doing at school?

She is doing just fine, thank you. I had a great time with her yesterday. She is going to ski for the spring break next week.

kamara - Well I have had a quiet weekend - yesterday I stayed in bed all day and slept and watched TV. It was very pleasant and relaxing.

I hardly ever do anything like that. I am the type who has to stay constantly busy. So now I am all rested up and ready to get going again.

Good for you! Have your completely recovered and are now enjoying your life?

Yep, I consider myself in recovery. After all the pain, then many days by myself, I figured out that I am happier without him, than with him.

Also he is still with OW, despite saying she would be gone, if I let him move back in. He seems to think of himself as some kind of prize. So I finally decided - she can have him, they deserve each other.