Christmas was better than I expected. My husband actually told me that he wanted to work on our marriage if it means a happy relationship and all of that. I do believe we can, but he is still phoning the OW. She is married too and he told me she is working on her marriage too. I don't get it, do they really think that continuing to talk to one another will help their marriage. Everything I have read says you cannot work on a marriage while still continueing with the affair PA or EA. <P>When I heard, I didn't even flinch or was surpirsed. I didn't feel angry or sad or anything. Just numb I guess. I guess I have numbed myself to the situation. We were cuddling when we were talking about it and then the images came into my head and I couldn't cuddle with him anymore. I don't know what she looks like or what they did together. All I know is that they were intimate (but I don't know what that means) He says they didn't have physical sex, but have had cybersex. So I don't know if that is continueing.<P>He doesn't live with me right now and has no intentions of moving back anytime soon. He says it is refreshing to live on his own. Must be nice since we have a 91/2 month old which leaves me holding the bag there. Not that I resent my son, I love him dearly and wouldn't give him up for a minute. It seems like he is still in his bubble.<P>I just don't know where to go from here? Do I continue with Plan A? Be pateient and wait for him to realize what he is missing with me and our son? How will I know he isn't talking with the OW anymore when he talks to her from work or from his hotmail account.<P>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I just don't know how I can get past all of this. Forgive I can do for sure I know I can, as long as he changes and gives up this OW. But can I forget? I don't know. It will be a long road.<P>Need encouragement that I am doing the right thing.<P>Rhonda

Rhonda Keep plan Aing but remember actions speak louder than words. They often say things to appease their guilt and because they dont want to continue hurting you.<P>If he gives up OW and moves home then you know you are on a role. Alot of the words he is saying I to have heard. Especially the I like being on my own. I have planned B. I also understand the feelings you have re the child responsibility.<P>Take care, this site is a god send, I know my marriage is over but these people are still supportive.<P>Rosey

MB priciples are quite straight forward...<P>Plan A for as long as you can...<BR>...and when you can't anymore...<P>Plan B... until the love is lost.<P>Stick with Plan A.<P>Happy New Year...<P> <P>Jim

Rhonda,<BR>married 21 years. In Novemeber found wife having at least a cyberaffair, sending nude pics to several guys but very close to one in particular. Swore it was nothing. Went into Plan A. Everything went a described in the book. She says we will mend things, be better than before, great sex...all lies. I can't believehow the woman I held in such hi esteem has become so fluent in lying. She is still emailing and chatting with OM, even describing our lovemaking as them doing it (or are we doing what she described to him). Describes her love for him and desire to be with him. The pain is awful. I work away from home and she has changed the number on computer phone line so I can't tell if she is on line. I promised myself to follow Plan A, however bad it hurts till end of March then Plan B. Hang in there.<P>MrB