We have been married for 7 years, and yes it has been hard. His job is extremely demanding and he makes very little time for our family. Even when he does fit us in for an outing, it is never without a cell phone in his ear. I started getting so hurt by his rejection I just couldn't not express it. He absolutely cannot see what he has done to hurt me and thinks that my anger and frustration are none of his responsibility. Now, because I am frustrated and want help, he has told me that he is going to divorce me. He says that he will stay untill June so our little girl won't be traumatized during kindergarten. (As if shattering her life in 6 months is any better) He says he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to try. Right now I struggle not to cry constantly and try to treat him very well. I do not want a divorce. What can I do?

Welcome <B>in agony</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Even though it may not seem that there is an infidelity going on (can't tell if you feel there is or not), it is very likely.<P>If not... some other addiction... has taken over his life...<P>No matter what... start on and keep going with a Plan A for as long as possible.<P> <P>Jim

You might want to try a mars / venus workshop. Or at least pick up a book from the local library & discuss it. I suspect he is clue less to your needs. I suspect you need to understand him better. Of course there is a great book , His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage. <BR>I recommend BOTH you start reading now, It is cheaper and less painful than divorce. <p>[This message has been edited by Joe in Mich (edited January 10, 2001).]