WH was home for a week. He treated me and the girls like dirt most the week. He was constantly ill w/ stomach cramps or vomiting. If this is stress related or not, I don't know. He never lived up to the promises he said he'd do when he came home. I went to visit my mom 45 min away for the evening. I decided to leave early because I wanted to watch the Sopranos and didn't set the VCR. I get in the car and I had just missed a call from H @ work. I call back and theres no answer. I figured he'd call back within 15 min when he got home. By the time I get off the expressway, no phone call. I decide to check out the apt he has his things at still. Guess whos there? Ok, I figure he's there picking up the rest of his things like I had asked him to do the night before. I go home and drop off the kids at a friend. I go back to the apt and he's still there. Still there? This is not picking up his things. Within 3 min of my arrival, OP pulls up and rings the security door. My heart sank. Why? I don't know. I should have expected this. Well, I came home after this. Promptly placed the 2 boxes he brought back home outside and took all the things out of the laundry room and put them outside. 2 hrs later he pulls up, gathers up his things from outside and drove off. I was shocked that he didn't try to come in the house and give me some moronic excuse. Welome back, Plan B. You weren't gone for very long. This time, NO CONTACT. And if I do, all of you can line up and have a free shot at me. Right now, I feel very little for him. and If I want to keep whats left, I best do this. I am angry hurt sad and dissapointed in him. He's willing to risk a wife, kids, house and business over this. Would the person who removed his frontal lobe please return it please? He could use it right about now. The minute my back was turned for an evening, he pulls a stunt like this. He told me Sat night that he has always loved me. I don't know what this is but, it does not feel like love to me.

Please try to hold on a little longer. I do not know your entire story, but I sympathize because of the pain in my own situation. You want your marriage to work and it takes a lot of effort and energy. Who knows where it comes from. Try to summon a little more each time he disappoints you and perhaps he'll begin to see what he is missing. Good luck to you!<BR>APS

Breakingslowly, <P>Thanks for responding. H has been in A w / an 18 yr old girl who worked for us. We welcomed this girl into our home and life as if she were one of our kids. The A started 7/00 when she was 17. H is almost 39 yrs old.<BR>D-Day was 12/21 (happy holidays eh?). Since D-day, he has been back and forth between home and an apt he is sharing with a friend of a friend who is divorcing obviously because of his drinking problem. My WH does have a drinking problem as well so, these two get along pretty well(they met at a tavern of the friend). The OP has managed to get herself in trouble @ school with this. The Principle found out about the A and caught her calling my H one day. She is not allowed to call from school and has counseling at school and mandated counseling outside of school if she dosen't want to be thrown out. Several of her friends have worked for me in the last yr and have told me that the only way to get this to end between H and OP is to have a restraining order filed.<BR>They have told me she has had Emotional probs since they were kids and thrives on drama. If my H would have told her its over this would not still be happening. He's a cake eater. I was Plan Aing during this time. I went to Plan B for a week and he promised no contact. He told the kids yesterday that he wants to be left alone. He wants to think. (OP was there later that night. So much for being "alone"). To my kids he said this. As my 9 yr old was yelling for her father to come down and answer the door he wouldn't go near them or let them in. My 11 yr old called her dad an A**H***<BR>as we pulled away. I about ran up the fire hydrant. She has never sworn in her life. Thank god he was already gone when she said it. I am about out love for this man. He has done nothng but lie to me and the OP. My contact person told him of my C appt. tomorrow and of the conditions of his return if it happens. All he would say How am I supposed to be in 2 places at once? All my friend said was whatever and got no feedback from him at all. No message for the girls, me.... nothing. I guess its easier for him to be estranged from his family than from his OP. Oh well. He's trading in 2 little girls for 1 new one. But this one he can boink. My oldest D is creeped out by all of this because the OP and my oldest are exactly the same height and weight and body type. Me and my D find it sickening that the OP gave her hand me down clothes. Ones possibly she might have taken off in front of her Dad. Ugh. Right now, my love bank is almost totally empty and if there is nothing put back in soon, Filing my D papers is inevitable. He has till 4/21. My oldests B-day. if he ruins her B-day like he ruined my youngests D B-day(Refused to take the day off which he could have, didn't take her to the Daddy n me dance that day AND told her he'd be home after work and didn't come home till 11pm) I will probably give up. Xmas was bad enough. Must he destroy every holiday or Bday for my kids?? I have to think of my kids too at this point rather than their Dad. They are the ones being hurt too.