Well, my first Christmas without my kids.....getting away from home was the best thing I could have done! If I had stayed here, I would have been sad and thinking about all that has happened and the profound effect it has had on all....the night before I left, I had my Christmas with the kids. After gifts were unrapped, my daughter ( 16) jumps up and says, we have to go now to Dads! They were leaving the next day for California! I was hurt to the bone. My only time with them and he wanted them there early so he could leave! I was deeply crushed. When H called to see if they were on their way I LB big time! How he could do this to me when I felt I was being thoughtful to him by letting him have them this Holiday season! I cried a couple of hours, then resolved to myself that I would have a good time, next year I would have the kids, and that no matter what happens in the future, I will be better off. If he wakes up and returns, I will be the best I can be for him. If not, someone else will appreciate me and love me for the person I am. But it was quite the eye opener for me to see this side of him. Next year has GOT to be better!!!!!