I pretty much turfed my husband out. He was making plans to move out -- lying about it. I found out and insisted he leave today, not continue to sleep in my bed and eat with the family when he is no longer one of us, psychologically speaking. It just seemed wrong.

I had been Plan Aing, almost impeccably, for about a month. We live in a small community. Also, the little OW immature game-playing things behind my back simply got to be too much, too nerve-wracking, and I needed to get my sanity back. Moreover, I felt he was becoming too comfortable sitting between two chairs.

I did not mean to "Plan B." I thought I was turfing him out forever. Finito! I told him my goal was never to see or speak to him again, and HEAL. All of a sudden I'm not so sure...

It's kind of heaven to be alone with the kids in this house, not having the situation as an ever-present reality.

However...I miss him already. He's already called twice (once catching me; once on answerphone). He's sending me an email with miscellaneous household odds-and-ends, I had to send him one to make sure we don't see each other at the same gathering tomorrow night. He sounds like he misses me... He said tentatively, "We'll see how this works out." Mentioned some theatre tickets we have in the coming weeks together...what are we going to do?

I'm not sure I have the willpower to resist...but fire away, all ye experts out there. It will drive OW crazy that he's dating me, and he's likely to find out...on the other hand...am I kidding myself? If he wants to be with me, Plan A must have worked. He acknowledged changes, but it didn't help him change course.

Geez I adore him, even if he is a complete sh*t.

One month of plan A is not enough ... you have to let the A dies down. Have A exposed ?. As part of plan A ... you have to fillin WS ENs as much as WS allows you too. So go out with him and compete with OW. Read Venusian Lady stories on my signature link below, it might work for you.

-rh-

Things more screwed up than ever. He's called three times since moving out, with one email. All are practical reasons for communication, but my daughter's reaction to phone message is that he's really trying to get back in.

He's asked about how we want to handle several sets of theater tickets. If we would feel uncomfortable sitting together, he said, he can rearrange seats for opposite sides of row. A dinner at friends tomorrow night -- presumably I would feel uncomfortable going with him, would I prefer going to him? Questions like these, all very polite and distant...still...how should I read all this? He seems to be pointing out with me that he won't be going to these things with OW, which I had assumed, but I do want to spare myself wishful thinking.

I did not mean to "Plan B." I thought I was turfing him out forever. Finito! I told him my goal was never to see or speak to him again, and HEAL.
That’s not Plan B though. That is Plan “I’m really pissed off at you and what you have done.“ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I’d recommend you keep up with Plan A for a while longer. Read up on the Basic Concepts and learn them well.