I found out about 2 months ago my husband was having an affair. I felt extremely hurt and angry......we are still living together and he apologizes for hurting me. We also have 2 children and have been together about 12 years. I'm very confused......and I'm not sure whether to stay in this relationship.
He is not giving me nor has ever given me what I needed out of this relationship. And has said many hurtful things such as he doesn't love me the way I love him and that he is in this for the kids.
Has anyone been in this situation? We are currently in counseling but his affection is very forced toward me. I don't know if I can be the one consistently giving in the relationship and not receiving back. He has many issues in his life from his childhood.

I hope someone has some advice!

i feel for you i am too going through alot my situation is a little bit different but my h allso had an affair. he loves me and i love him but he says he is not in love with me we are working on our marriage. you need to keep coming here read everything you can. i feel it is too soon to take drastic steps. sometimes when you don't know what to do the best thing is to do nothing. wait see if you can make your marriage better if he is willing to work on it.go to counseling see if that helps.read everything you can on this site it will help. good luck to you,de

Thanks for the support and your response. I only have one more question! How do you stay in a marriage that the "being in love" is one sided? I don't think I have enough love for 2 people anymore. Especially now that he has cheated.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by love2:
<strong>I found out about 2 months ago my husband was having an affair. I felt extremely hurt and angry......we are still living together and he apologizes for hurting me. We also have 2 children and have been together about 12 years. I'm very confused......and I'm not sure whether to stay in this relationship.
He is not giving me nor has ever given me what I needed out of this relationship. And has said many hurtful things such as he doesn't love me the way I love him and that he is in this for the kids.
Has anyone been in this situation? We are currently in counseling but his affection is very forced toward me. I don't know if I can be the one consistently giving in the relationship and not receiving back. He has many issues in his life from his childhood.

I hope someone has some advice!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Yes, my relationship with my huband has been for about 12 years,also, almost 9 of them married. In March, my husband began telling me that he's not sure whether he still loves me, and has been numb since the birth of our son last May. Shortly afterward, his secretary's husband called me to tell me that the two of them are living together (my husband & his secretary). And in a condo across the street from this house! In any case, you and I seem to have much in common, as my husband has refused counseling all along (so I've been going alone), and says we owe it to our child to show him a happy relationship - of course, the difference between you and I is that my husband moved out, while yours is still with you, in body at least. It has been my experience thus far that you and your kids will be happier in the long run without the stress of someone who really doesn't want to be there - at least for now. The thing to do is to Work On Yourself - be happy, go out with friends, start a hobby, re-decorate...anything to change your focus. In the long run, either he'll notice and feel interested enough to work on things, or he'll still be gone but you'll be better off with your new start...That's what I'm attempting to do these days. I know it's hard, but there are lots of us going through this, you can do it....