Well as some of you know, I have not posted in long time. I thought you might like to hear the update. D-Day was 7/10/02. We separated 9/02/02. She went to live with OM. And, my wife has continued to have serious issues with alcohol. As does her new "love".
After a Plan A that really started in Novenmber of '02, and a her desire to come back and get treament for alcohol I thought we might have a chance again. In fact, I was very hopeful.
ButI soon found out that she was in contact with him in re-hab.
And then the weekend jaunts back to be with him that initially would start on Friday...then she would come home Monday, began again. This went on until she finally decided to go back.
Ironically, while she was here, she found out that he was out with another woman (at a bar).I think that was when she decided to go back and "protect her turf".
It is clear to me now that the constant confusion her part will never end.
And, I have decided that I need to take another step.Plan B or No Contact.
I should make it clear that I still do care about her, but her continued drinking after re-hab and the running back to Om leaves me with no alternative.
I am prepared now to walk away. Should I go to Plan B letter or should I simply begin the divorce process.
It is clear to me that she is cake eating.And, it must stop.
Any opinions, before I proceed ?

Gregg,

I know Harley states that he won't consider trying to rebuild a marriage until any outside addictions are addressed. In your case that is alcohol. It is surely your call, but I doubt that plan B will work, if she is still a drinking alcoholic.

It is a tough decision, but it is probably worth noting that divorce takes awhile, so if she is going to come out of it she still has time. I don't think you will make much headway as long as she is drinking.

That is my $0.02.

God Bless,

JL

Go to plan B ... you are talking to the Alcohol, not even WW ... let alone W. Actualy when you go to plan B ... you should be ready for one of the possible outcome, Dv. It would be easier for you to do plan B.

-rh-

JL and r-hat,
I hear you. And I do not disagree. I have felt this way about the addiction for a long time. But, it is the next step. Or at least my view of it. And yes Redhat, I am prepared for the one outcome. I suppose I am just trying to see if their is anything in her head that is left that may spark her. I have grave doubts about that though. In a way, I guess it is one more step in my head to begin letting go, if you know what I mean. And face reality.

I have written and mailed Plan B letter. But, I am prepared for the possible outcomes.

I will try to stay positive and pray.

Gregg M.

Its been a while since I last heard from you. In fact, the last post of yours was to a dead thread over at the free/low cost dates forum. Anyway, I'm sorry on the recent turn of events regarding your alcoholic WW.

If you still care for her then count my voice to the chorus of people that has suggested to you to go to Plan B. But unlike the last Plan B, don't give in so easily, insists on the following deal breakers:

1. End all contact with the OM forever.

2. Voluntarily submit to having her whereabouts tracked all the time to help her stay the course as far as no contact with the OM and to keep her from falling off the bandwagon (as a former alcoholic I can't tell you enough on this last one).

3. Voluntarily submit to alcohol treatment and express a desire to commit to following a marital recovery plan that includes counseling with a pro-marriage professional like Stever Harley or Penny Tupy(Cerri) as well as following the principles of the four rules for a succesful marriage (click on the link bellow my signature).

Don't allow yourself to be sucked in by her cries of poor ol' me without her carrying out ALL of the 3 deal breakers, otherwise you'll only find yourself back to square one with another false recovery that will end up in your giving up and filing for divorce.