i listened to rookie and put a voice activated recorder under my H's seat in his car. he has been talking to the other woman and probally seeing her too he lied to counselor too. can't be honest with anyone. well i kicked him out told him he had to go. i packed all his stuff put it on the patio for him told him i love him but i can't live with him like this anymore if he ever wants to really work on it he can call me i did write him a plan b letter and gave it to him. he got his stuff and he is gone. i am not even really upset i think i'm actually releived to know the truth finally. i just felt like such a failure but know i know it was because he was still having contact with the o/w. thank god i can now go on with my life and take care of me and my son. de

Hi,

Havn't been following your sitch (need to read more threads here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ), but I think you did the right thing and it's exactly what I would have done. Congrats on having the courage to do it.

Being tough is sometimes the only way we can get through to our spouses that we mean business <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The man definitely needs a wake up call !! You gave him it !!

thanks for the encouragment eden it really helps having people like you in my life i hope all is well with you. sincerely, de

Make sure you make a list of ammends ... to protect your self next time he crawling back. You did the right thing by serve him w/ plan B and kick him out. You see there was a mistake (probably) then this is deliberate (fact) since he know what is right thing to do (from the conseling).

It took many times for Orchid before her hsuband finally get it.

-rh-

<small>[ July 20, 2003, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

well i kicked my H. out on saturday and i really am ok with this i think finding out that he was still in contact with the o/w was a relief in a way. because i was feeling like such a failure. feeling like maybe i was a bad wife and my husband just did not love me. because he was not responding to me plan a-ing. i was really feeling low about myself but now i feel alot better and i know i can survive i really am a great person. i have alot of wonderful friends and family they have all been comming buy and checking on me i even had two friends from out of state call me. and these are friends of both my husband and myself. i really do love my husband. i do want our marriage to work but if it doesn't i know i will be ok. I do have one problem though we have to be in touch becaue we rewrote our mortgage for a lower rate and we are getting some money. the check is comming tuesday morning. my h.sayed we have to talk about the money i just said ok. but i really don't want to see him. i think it will be to hard. my kids don't want to see him either.i was thinking i'll have to work this out with him and the weekly money he will have to give me. i might have the kids go out f/19 m/13. my 23 yr.old daughter has her on family a couple of towns away her dad has been staying with her.i am going to have him leave the money in a designated spot like the back deck in a countainer or something but not allow him in the house.I really don't want any contact it is to hard.so i haven't talked or seen him in 3-days and i am ok. thanks for all the support everyone. love, de

Sorry to heaof your discovery de, but in a way I'm glad you finally found the truth.

Just remember at this point, it's all lies, dont beleive anything from him.

Hope you didnt tell him where you had the recorder, you might need to do it again, dont give away the trade secrets, lol,

Good luck, prayers to you,

Rookie

it has been 5 days since i kicked my H. out. monday he called my son's cell phone asked to talk to me i said no he said please it was about a big some of money we had just gotten for refinancing. so we really did have to talk he insisted on comming over. he sat down said how he was so sorry i'm so sorry you don't deserve this.just give me a few days. i firmly said lets talk about the finances. we did and i asked him to please leave now. my son had a baseball game that night and my husband asked him if he could go my son said yes. he said never mind i won't go i said ok you have to go now i said i'm not going because i don't want to be around him. he looked like he was going to cry. but i am so strong. it really didn't bother me. i think i'm still really mad.i really don't want to talk or see him right now. i do love him. i do want him back and i do want my marriage to work. i wish i new how he felt sometimes and other times i could care less. de

De, dont take him back untill he absolutley refuses to have contact with the OW, again, do not believe anything he says at this time. If he is serious about nc with her, be there when he writes up a nc letter to her, add your bit to the letter and give it to someone else you trust to give it to her, do not let him tell you he will do it.

I absolutley envy all of you who have a WS who is remorseful and want to rebuild your marriages, if you really love him like you say, work on it, have absolutes, marriage counseling,no contact and the 4 basic principles outlined in this site down. I would love to hear my W say, I want to try, where do we start. I am loosing faith.

Good luck De, God bless.

dekicks,

Stay strong. This would define your R with him. WH is still in his fog, yes, sometime some sunshine peek through but as long as OW is in the picture your M would never have any chance.

-rh-

my H. keeps calling. i let the machine get it. then he keeps dropping by. i told him today no more. stop comming by. only leave a message if it is to try and work on marriage. he says he doesn't want a divorce. i know he is still seeing the o/w. he says he is confused and doesn't know what he wants but he does love me. i told him when he is comming every thursday to drop off money, to call and leave a message that he is comming, and we will go out.he agreed.

Just offering you support.

You are doing the right thing.

Hang tough.

God bless

Pep