Just to give you a tidbit of whats going on. WH has continued to see the OW up to now and obviously denied (continued to lie)to me about it. For the meantime, I continue to Plan A even if it is breaking my heart and kind of know what he is doing (cakeeating). Continued to lie when he comes around and tells me that its over and he is not talking to OW. Anyway, things are not too happy in the past two weeks with the two of them. I think he realizes that he is not really sure of what he wants, truly.

Anyway, I think they finally broke up. I am almost positive in that the OW requested to meet with me twice and I think she finally got my side of the story and maybe even believe it.

So this is what is puzzling to me. He is not sure if he wants to come back and I don't know what to do, either. He also feels the same way. To me after we talked about how we are feeling, I then realize why I had wanted him back. He on the other hand is still not sure and wants to continue thinking about it. Ouch for me.

Also, now that I have met the OW, I feel like he must have really loved her to the point that I think he loves her more that he loves me.

I don't recally reading about this. I did suggest to him that we need to both talked to Harley and he is open to that. I gave him my recovery plan to see if he agrees but no response from him. What do you think out there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

What do we or do I do now?

Sorry to hear of your pain. I do not know how long you have been in Plan A. If you have been in Plan A for a while you MUST think about going to Plan B.

If he is fencesitting, cannot make up his mind it is time for Plan B. It matters not what the OW thinks. What matters is what you need to do.

Boy, Supermom, I sure can relate to what you've been going through. Our situations are SO similar. I've just come back to the board after a couple weeks of a failed Plan A attempt. It looks like you've been gone about as long. How are things going now? My H couldn't give up the OW either (I wrote about this elsewhere) so he moved out three days ago. It is HORRIBLE.
If you would like to e-mail me privately, my e-mail is susanbtrade@aol.com
I hope things are okay,
{{{{{{SUPERMOM}}}}

I finally informed him that since he is still not sure of what he wanted to do (it has been a year of fencesitting on his part), I wanted to proceed with the divorce. He though about this and had asked that we work things out.

What is so weird is that when he broke off with her and I finally can sencse some truth to the break-up, we both don't quite know how to act around each other.

Its as if the storm past and we are both so tired and don't quite know where to begin.

He is still living at his own house and we have been on a couple of dates. The last one this past Friday ended up being a big fight. He says that he can't feel the affection and was frustrated big time and he ended up yelling and screaming.

He called to apologize the next day. He told me just yesterday that he wanted to come back home. We are just both at a lost as to where to begin. I woke up this morning wanting to drive over to his house to make sure that he is really alone.

Anyone have any suggestions on what we should be doing next. I think we are both running empty in our love bank accounts and all of sudden forgot how to make deposits.

supermom,

I would not drive there ... assume the worst, assume that contact still there and she is still with him. Don't do anything, don't call, you should be in plan B ... do you have any reason not doing it ?. Until WH is acting agree to NC and giving accountability to his time and money and CALL AND MADE AN APPOINTMENT to MB you might be better off going back to plan B.

-rh-

Where are you Supermom? It sure sounds like you should be headed for Plan B. When being together starts draining the love bank, you've gotta save what is left.
Please let us know how you are.
Hugs,

supermom,

Hope you have support ... if you don't there are many of us here in bay area that willing to help & listen to you. Orchid is good starting point, she is the main contact here. I think LULU could help you too.

-rh-

Hey, redhat, I'm near the Bay Area!

Hey Susan,

So am I!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

We just met RH, Lulu and T1 last weekend. Was suppose to go virtual bowling but got caught visitng instead.

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by SusanBT:
<strong>Hey, redhat, I'm near the Bay Area!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We will have another get together again next month ... I know Orchid is busy but if there are enough people interested we should organize one.

I am at Redwood City

-rh-

Count me in!
Is Supermom from the Bay Area?
Where ARE you Supermom?

Yes I am from the bay area. Let me know when the next get together.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by supermom:
<strong>Yes I am from the bay area. Let me know when the next get together.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Here is the link ... it is tentative but it looks like 10/18 11AM- whatever ... the last time we stayed 'till 10PM. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

-rh-

<small>[ September 27, 2003, 03:08 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

Supermom,

How are you doing? RH, Lulu, Trouble1 and others are in this area. If you want to get together before the Oct trip, let me know. My e-mail addy: MBorchid2@yahoo.com

take care,
L.