Here's a question for Plan B veterans:

Did you send a copy of your Plan B letter to the OP? If so, did you include a note to them? What should it say?

Scared to death about taking this step but trying to forge ahead!

Jaz

Been in Plan B for 3 weeks - did not send letter to OW. She is not part of my relationship with H, she would like to be, but is not. I'm much happier since Blan B, hardly think about them at all. I'm getting on with my life and now have peace of mind. I recommend Plan B when there seems little hope of WS leaving OP. My life is much happier now.

Although I am not a veteran to Plan B, I can say that I don't think I could send a copy to the OP. In SAA, I think it says you should, but I'm along the same lines as believer. I think it's too personal & would include more information than I would want to share with OP.

BUT (aren't there always BUTS??)LOL
I think in all fairness, the point is to let the OP know in no uncertain terms where you stand on the matter. By sending a copy of the letter, the WS can not put their own "twist" on it.

Very difficult decision, I would imagine.
Best of luck to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

By sending a copy of the letter, the WS can not put their own "twist" on it.

Exactly correct!

Yep, and sending the copy to the OP tells them, clearly, that you love your spouse and will do anything to save your marriage...regardless of what your WS may be telling OP.

Tends to interject a bit of doubt into the fantasy life of the OP. Take that information and let it make you feel good...know you are making OP uncomfortable...about time, huh?

*S*

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Tends to interject a bit of doubt into the fantasy life of the OP. Take that information and let it make you feel good...know you are making OP uncomfortable...about time, huh?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I see the point but from what I can tell, it would take a miracle to induce any doubt or guilt in this particular OW! I can't imagine how she justifies the A as she was not too long ago a BW herself who wanted to save her own M--so she says. I would never contribute to this much pain for a wife much less a child now that I know how truly devastating it is. This is one of those things you can't really "get" until you've experienced it.I hope I would at least have the smarts to tell the WH to get his divorce and his emotions taken care of first before he comes calling. If they end up together, she'll be getting an angry, MLC man who hasn't looked at himself with any honesty in a long time. That is one small (very small) comfort to me!

I know WH will be furious if I copy the note to her, but so what. He's furious anyway. Knowing him, though, I do worry he will take it as an ultimatum of sorts and then will be even more reluctant to "back down" or "give in" in the face of OW. He tells me he does not love her but you can bet she hasn't heard that! Wish I could sneak that in!