I'm scared as hell. As the time is getting closer to disclosure, I'm having some feelings of doubt if I should. I believe that I should, but I am so scared. I'm trying to set it up for this week, maybe Wednesday. I see the counselor on Monday, she sees him on Thursday. I'm thinking about talking with her with her sister and brother in law present, Anyone have any thoughts? Should I tell her about the length of the affair or wait for her to ask for more details? How should I tell her, what should I say, maybe it doesn't really matter as long as I get it out.<P>I'm trying to be strong and trust in God for reconciliation and I've had thoughts about if she feels she has the strength to work it out. She might not feel, even if she wanted to that she could do it. It will take a lot of work, but I believe that we can have a more intimate and close relationship than we've ever had before, if we stay in the fight.<P>She just got home, driving all day in bad weather and my boy called me to tell me that they got home allright. He said W doesn't really want to talk to me right now. I plan to see them Monday evening, just to drop off my in laws dog that I've been watching over the holidays. Thought I might approach her about a meeting Wednesday.<P>By the way, one more question. I've had testing done and may not get the results til 1/10, should I wait for the results before I disclose?<P>TrustnTruth, what do you say?<BR>How about it Patient Love?<BR>Can you add anything Kyhre?<P>God bless you all, I appreciate you so much.

Repenting,<P>I am not exactly sure how you are feeling but I can imagine it. <BR>My husband has said that disclosing his affair to me was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He also said that the sense of relief that came after it was incredible. He described it as though he were floating above himself observing the whole thing. This separation was probably a defense mechanism.<BR>I wouldn't wait until after the testing results come back (but I am sure your wife will appreciate that you took the step to get tested to protect the both of you). The longer you put off telling her the harder it will be for you to tell her and the harder it will be for her to believe that you are truly repentant.<BR>I know disclosure will be hard but your wife may be more willing to work on things once the whole truth is out. Chances are she may already have her suspiscions. Bringing things into the light will be a positive thing in the long run.<BR>I hope I have helped even if it is just a little.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<P><BR>