WH left 10 days ago. has been home twice to get work equipment and a few t shirts. he has not "moved" out. his desk-bills-personal affects and clothing are all still here. came here one day to talk-expected OS dinner birthday but got no party. came in the door-"guns blazing" about what he would not do-discuss-tolerate. out the door again 3 hours later. we have changed the locks and he knows it. sons are 18 and 22- living at home- paying their way- working and college. I am a homemaker/wife/mother. I work 10 weeks each summer teaching. for the next week or so I have enough $$ to get along. I have borrowed a car. WH is most likely staying with ow and her young child. (not my h child!) ow is still married. seperated by geographic distance from her h. YS has a business with WH that is now seperate but the same business. OS got a voice message yesterday- Happy Birthday- I'll always love you" OS did not reply. YS will not speak to WH. WH has had no contact with me other than stated here. when any of us ask WH if he wants to be "thrown out" WH says NO. if asked about a divorce he says I don't know. anything else gets an "I don't know-or none of your business" answer. so......do we just go dark or do I officially send a B letter????????????????????? you know I'm dying if you've been here.......HELP!!!

PEACE OUT

<small>[ June 02, 2004, 09:12 AM: Message edited by: sprezzatura ]</small>

Plan B.......wow. so hard after 24 years to not speak to h. still hasn't CHOSEN to my way of thinking. belongings are still here- hasn't told me to shove off-won't tell us who/what/where he is-only responds if he is provoked in some way- kids are both under medical care at this point- High BP/heart problems- and I.......well I am just here. can't believe this mess- answers from h are still contradictory- 18 days- seems like 100 years.

how do we ever negotiate a reconciliation? I swear sometimes hes just afraid to come home- like how to literally walk thru the door.......

any ideas? Fathers Day approaches....

PEACE OUT

Have you gone to a lawyer to find out your WH's financial responsibilities?

Lots of WS's seem to think they can just leave and do what they want.

Hi Believer- got an attorney on day 3 of what we call the "walk-out" as h hasn't MOVED out. paycheck is still in the bank- all is well there-I explained to h back a few weeks that I could file for and receive full spousal support if he wanted to argue and /or thought he could just walk out and be independently wealthy and let us starve. H said thats not fair and that was the end of that discussion.

Talked to my Pastor again today- he says either decide you are done and tell him or let him suffer and go dark. I am not done-my faith is powerful and so is God. so dark it is. H is suffering and so are we. (that ain't fair?! ) ahhh well...life being what it is, I have TONS of support- someone called that Gods Glory- everything I have given and done in this life, coming back to me. reaping what I've sown?

H answers are so contradictory-so confusing....

You are the person who has to decide
  whether you'll do it, or toss it aside.
You are the person who makes up your mind
  whether you'll lead or linger behind.
Whether you'll try for a goal that is far
  or be contented to stay where you are.
Take it or leave it, there's something to do,
  you must think it over because...
It's all up to you!


PEACE OUT and thanks for all support and prayer!