I am plan Aing my little heart out! <P>H was here today for his weekly visit with the children and me. <P>We worked together taking down the Christmas tree and outdoor decorations. We were like the perfectly happlily married couple. After the work was completed we decided to put together our daughters exercise bike we had given her for Christmas. He couldn't have been nicer even if he had tried!<P>We assembled the bike in her room that is across the hallway from our room. Once it was complete I went downstairs to tell her it was ready. When I went back upstairs H was lying on *our* bed in *our* room. I sat next to him and rubbed his shoulders as a nice little jesture for all his help and hard work. The next thing I know we are kissing and getting very passionate. I jokingly asked him if I should just close and lock the door and he said please do! Far be it for me to disobey my husbands wishes (wink wink) so I did just that. <P>Our *alone* time was all it should be between a man and wife. He was so tender and loving. He kept telling me how much he loves me, misses me, and can't live without me. He called me his bride and told me how he never wants to *be* with anyone other than me ever again.<P>After we emerged from our room it was time for him to leave to go back to the OW's house. He then told me he just wishes he could turn back time to 6 months ago (that is when he left to go live with the OW again) so he wouldn't be going anywhere but back to bed to hold me all night.<P>The reason I am posting this is I would like to know if making love with your spouse, even when he is living with the OW is an acceptable part of plan A. Today's intimacy has been building for a few weeks now. His kisses, touches etc, have been constant and he has told me reaptedly he and the OW have not been intimate since he left in July. He has told me he can't wait to come home for good. He also said today, although he still doesn't know when he will move back home, the only thing that gets him through the day is remembering us together and thinking about our future. We even talked about our vacation plans for this summer!<P>I know I know I need to get a copy of SAA. But this weekend was filled with a Cheerleading Compitition (daughters squad placed 1st) endless hours at the hospital where my 96 year old Grandmother is trying to pull through, a child sick with bronchitis, a major plumbing problem (who knew a sewer can drop and cost $2000 to repair!)and assorted other crazy things! But I will hit the book stores again this week! <P>Sorry if this question is too personal for some to read, but I just wanted to know if I did something I shouldn't have done.<P>FC<BR>(who is blushing as she writed this)

FC,<P> ... a weekend like this is hard to find...<BR>Keep and treasure it... <P>Jim

FC--<P>Sounds perfectly Plan A to me. <P>

<BR>FC,<P>There's no right or wrong answer to your question. The consensus here in MB (I've seen the question raised before) is that you should Plan A right up to the maximum level of your own comfort. If that includes your being comfortable making love, then (as the saying goes) "You go, girl!" <P>Bystander

sounds like you had a lovely time with H nothing wrong with that,feel free to post about anything you like any time.post like this give us all hpoe<BR>Lesa <P>------------------<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P>LMS20ish@cs.com<P>

I am a little mixed here. While I did have sex with my W during our seperation, I don't know if it can be good or bad.<P>Good: Huge amounts of love and affection are given back and forth (from your description). This can rebuild the feelings between two that may have caused the "problem" in the first place. A great way of relieving stress and building bonds.<P>Bad: Cake and eat it too? Why would one want to come home when they are getting the best of both worlds? STD's? This is not the world I grew up in, I'm sure it's not the same for you either, new diseases everyday.<P>If you are comfortable with having sex with your H then I'm certainly not going to tell you not to. For me, it was great, for a while. Then it started to hurt too much. She did not come home till after all contact was severed. Hopefully you will not come to that point, but if you do, rest assured you are building something for him to think about!<P>Good Luck and God Bless<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.<P><BR>

Sounds like heaven!!!! <P>.......but then you did say you had sewer problems!!!!!!!! <P>

It sounds to me like you both made a lot of love deposits this weekend. Nothing wrong with that. If it felt right to you, then it was. <BR>Glad to hear it went so nicely. <BR>

I don't mean to be a downer here, BUT keep in mind that words and actions are two different things. He certainly is "saying" the right things but his actions aren't. (i.e. leaving to go off with the OW). I think <B>you</B> have shown him what it's like to be loving wife and you certainly have given him something to ponder while he is away. <P>Don't let this go on forever. As Paul stated, he has the best of both worlds and he needs to know that he can't have you both. <P>Fool No More

If I were you, my ONLY concern would be re: STD's. Other than that... anything that you both say goes, GOES!<P>Sounds like a wonderful lovemaking session too... ahhhh....bliss...<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Nobody knows what you want except you, and nobody will be as sorry as you if you don't get it. ~Barry Manilow

Jim<P>Thanks for your continued support! Even if things don't work out I WILL treasure the time we spent together this past Sunday forever. <P>Lucks and Bystander<P>Thanks for helping me feel what happened was plan A acceptable. <P>LMS<P>Thanks for encouraging me to post about anything! I was a little nervous to bring up such a personal situation, but you and others make posting here so easy and rewarding. And I am so happy to hear how others good fortune spreads hope.<P>Paul<P>The cake and eat it to thought crossed my mind more than once. But when I really thought about it I came to the conclusion that if he was to be reminded of how things were with me in the past and how they could be in the future he would be rethinking his current actions even more. <P>Taj<P>Heaven would be an understatment. <P>As for the sewer problem all I can say is a big YUCK! But it's temporarily fixed. Now all we need is an extra $2000 to get the permanent work done!<P>Viki<P>Thanks for your comments! I agree alot of positive love deposits were made that day. <P>Fool No More<P>You weren't being a downer. You were being honest in your opinion and I certainly appreciate that. I know very well he has to get off the fence. He knows it too. I just want to make sure he ends up on my side of the fence and not hers. And yes he does know the right things to say. He is what is known as a *pleaser*. Even though he is still living with her his words and actions in the past month have been deffinatly pointing in my direction. His leaving her to come home is a three step process. Step one is complete. Steps two and three will take a bit more time but I do have a mental time limit I am putting on his return. I now know though to keep it to myself, or at least for now. <P>Sheryl<P>I am not too concerned about STD's. He has not been with anyone other than the me and the OW. And I really believe OW hasn't been with anyone other than my H in many years. When he moved back home the last time, he was tested for everything and it all came up negative. And I do know the last thing in the world he would ever do is put my health at risk. He not only loves me but if something was to happen to me he would have to raise our two teenage daughters and that is something he would NOT attempt with out moi. <P>Again thanks to EVEYONE who responded!<P>He called 3 times today. I missed his first two calls but we had a wonderful conversation tonight. Lots of I Love Yous and more remorse about not being with me every day. He says he's leaving work early tomorrow to come home for dinner and to watch a movie with me. Keep your fingers crossed( I know I will) that he shows up <P>FC<P>

FC,<P>I tkink that your day was very much in line w/plan-a. Remember plan-a is about NO lovebusters and if you can meet some basic emotional needa. Sounds like you did both.<P>I look forward to shareing times lioke that w/my W<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

FC, no problum that is why we all are here for support and to give it as well keep plan Aing your heart out and remember everyone on this BB is here for the same reason to save their marriage.<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> LMS20ish@cs.com <P><BR>

Dear FC: A little over a year ago while my H was enmeshed with his OW, I went to my H and asked him if he would like to get together with me-no strings-for fun, conmfort and just to enjoy each others' company because I had missed him so much. This was on Dec 3, 1998. He was moved back home by January 1, 1999. I had nothing to loose and everything to gain. <BR>What does your heart tell you? After all, he is YOUR husband. Because you are the only one entitled to have sex with him, you go ahead and do whatever you want or need to do-and enjoy, no matter the outcome.<BR>Good luck-