These things aren't miracle drugs. They don't mask emotions but help us put them back into perspective. A cast on a broken leg doesn't eliminate the break it holds it in place so the real healing can ocur properly with physical therapy etc... Likewise, these drugs need counseling etc...<BR>If your wife is no longer feeling anger maybe she never really felt that emotion in the first place. Grief and guilt often manifest as anger. The zoloftmay be helping your wife face the real emotions she felt.<BR>Sometimes its alot less painful to feel anger than it is to feel pity, guilt, neglected, etc... its possible that you wife may be more aware now of what is bothering her and can truly move to some positive improvement. I hope so...Good luck to you.<BR>p.s. where and how are you dealing with your anger and feelings?

Just wanted to get this to the top as I am looking for some input on this.<BR>Thanks!

Hi, RWD & all,<P>About the anger/irritability thing - these are a very strong component of my own depression (along with general pessimism & dissatisfaction with my life - more "typical" depressive symptoms ). I can assure you that I am NOT a lovely person to be around when I'm depressed! I also have "social phobia" when depressed - find it extremely difficult to interact with people, look them in the eye, etc (including my H... um, *not* good for a marriage), do not enjoy seeing friends, etc. This was not typical of me.<P>It took me a number of years, and a number of cycles on & off anti-deps, to get a pretty good feel for my *own* depressive symptoms (and as I always say, "It Pays To *Know Your Depression*"! ). Now I'm on 'em for good...a strong family history has emerged...just my biochemical "luck o' the draw" <P>Anyway, back to the anger - many people don't know that anger/extreme irritability can be a symptom of depression - studies have shown that anger & aggression are associated with low serotonin levels (i.e in prison populations, many inmates have low levels of serotonin). The SSRI type anti-deps (Prozac, Zoloft, a few others) seem to work well with anger & irritability.<P>As KAM pointed out, taking anti-deps will not solve all your problems. *However*, attempting to deal with your problems while in the grip of depression can be very difficult - if not impossible - I think it's kind of putting the cart before the horse. My counselor describes treating depression medically as "removing the roadblocks", in order to then proceed with therapy or whatever else seems appropriate. I can tell you for myself that I was *incapable* of working on my marriage & making progress in counseling when I was depressed... depression wreaked havoc with my marriage for many years... once we finally got that figured out & treated, the sailing was a lot smoother.

Dear Trying Again:<BR>Than tell your husband to take less of the medication or get off of it so he doesn't blame you. I guess there is always an excuse of one does not want to seek the truth and look within to find the problem. Best of luck to you. Katya

Thank you Katya,<BR>My H's doctor cut his dose in half. Things are going well this week.

Kam, <BR>Thanks for your reply. I'm taking St Johns Wort, but not on any real regular basis so I don't knoe how beenficial its been, although I feel its helped. basically I talk to people and that calms me down.<BR>As far as my w's anger, she has always had it and I never knew how to repsond to it. As I discovered I'm a conflict avoider and when she was inone of her"moods" I would avoid her and eventually ended up neglecting her. I was not however the cause of all her anger. She would wake up in a bad mood.She also has no patience. I never used to let those traits bother me. But now they do.<BR>Thats why I was wondering if the anti-deps would help this although I think she needs some serious conseling to find out why she is angry. And I need to learn how nont to avoid conflict and communicate which I am learning.

Hopefully your wife may be able to find the cause of her anger and irritablity. Lack of patience I think tends to be a natural byproduct of irritabilty. It would probably help if you did stick up foryourself more and all, just be careful. You'll be upsetting a relationship pattern that you've always had. It may increase her anger and irritablity.<BR>Actually, isn't it interesting that we are willing to accept the fact that some people are just naturally always upbeat. They practically have toforce themselves to cry even at funerals. We usually don't see that as wrong or a problem. Most of our feelings though are biologically based (if they weren't zoloft wouldn't matter and anim,als wouldn't get emotional). Anyway, it may be her natural temperment. My wife's isn't exactlly "spontaneous" I have to learn to live with that. Remembering that my spontaneousnes is somewhat balanced by her practicality. Part of the problems we have is because we forgort that she wants me to change to being practical and I want her to become spontaneous. <BR>Anyway, good luck and I hope for the best. Oh by the way I am a real crank all day if I wake up even fifteen minutes off (too early or to late) a nap usually helps. Its as if I had an unfinished dream I needed to complete. ;-) Maybe you could watch your wife sleep patterns and she if theirs something going on there too. Maybe even apnea?