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Hi,<P>Don't know if you remember me or not but I cheated on my lovely wife and tried to fix everything after my major screw up.<P>For the past 2 onths everythiung has seemed to finally get back in order. My priorites have changed and I want my wife involved in everything I do. recreational companionship.... we have so much fun together. (for give my typing, I don't handle achol that well...)<P>Anyway! the past week or so she has been coming home later thast usual and ALWAYS smelling very nice. If you don' t know my story... I work 9-5 and then she goes to work when I get home so we don't have to send the kids to day care. I've asked her if she was getting pay back at me, but all I ever get is this look like... how dare you even ask me that.<P>I really hope I'm just paraniod. I know I probably desreve it if she does, but I don't know if I could forgive her the way that she has forgiven me.<P>I really don't know what to do. We are supposed to be moving in a few weeks into a new house that is being built, but I'm not sure I want to go through all that hassle if our marriage is on te way out.<P>Dawnetta, Monique, Lonesatr.... if you guys are still out there i need your help.<P><P>------------------<BR>I fell in love all over again... I fell in love with my wife.

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StevieB<BR>We have wondered how you are.<BR>Do you have any hard evidence?<BR>You guys have to talk about this. Please don't accuse her until you are sure. We all remember the hurt. You two have done well but it has not been long enough to be totally over your betrayal.<BR>I am praying for you!!<BR>Sara<BR>

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StevieB Offline OP
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Hey sara.<P>I did my counseling thing and Hetaher and I agreed that I didn't need to go anymore. Iwas doing wonderful job of keeping the pace I had promise her and Have been doing quite weel at being a loving husband and daddy. then Boom! it's like she changed on me... I doin't know what happened. I dont go out on my own on weekends anymore, I sold my motorcycle, am trying to sell my dirtbike, sold my truck cuz she said it wasn't "our truck" anymore cuz OW was in it...<P>Now She is starting to act like I did way back when. I'm scared. i don't really beleive that she would do that, but she knows taht... perhapos she's countoing on it?<P>I dont want to accyse her, cuz if I do she'll just come down hard on me and I dont want to fgiht. but what amI suposed to do? to finf out whats going on? She's never lied to me. not from day one. But am I being nieve to think she couldn't?

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StevieB Offline OP
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sorry for all the typos....<P>Coffee would probably be good now?<P><BR>NAH!!!!!

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Remember me? I have thought about you and your wife often and wondered how you were doing.<P>I hope you are just paranoid, too. I learned the hard way that I was not a good judge on what a spouse is capable of.<P>But, if she is innocent and you are acting as if she is guilty, you will destroy all the progress you have made.<P>Are you willing to risk that? Your attitude was so great and you were so eager. Remember? <P>Be vigilent but be slow to accuse. <P>Remember your goal of a happy two parent family with the woman you love...and proceed accordingly. <P>Do not jepordize...protect.<P>Wish it was a better update, but it is great to hear from you.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

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Stevie,<BR>I don't think you are being naive but on the other hand...... Did any of us really think this would happen? You could call me naive because I TRUSTED. I am much more suspicious now.<BR>I don't think Heather would cheat. I hope I am not wrong.<BR>I think she is still hurting. Maybe she wants you to hurt. I still feel that way sometimes. We feel like we have forgiven you guys but you kind of "get off easy" (No pun intended). We are stuck hurting.<BR>I wish I knew what to tell you. Hang in there. You can get through this.

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StevieB Offline OP
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Faith!<P>Hellooooooooooo!!!!!!!<BR>Nice to hear from you. and your absolutely right! thank you...<P><BR>I should know better than this... See what happens when I do yet another foolish thing...(drinking)<P><BR>Oh... if anyone would care to take a look see at my awesome son crawling form the VERY FIRT TIME at 6 months and 4 days... go to <A HREF="http://www.nedt.com/jdc2.avi" TARGET=_blank>http://www.nedt.com/jdc2.avi</A> (hope I did that rihgt... it's a 1.44 MB file...<BR>I'm uploading it now.<P>He's the best! next to his big sister of course.... wink wink.<P>Thanks Faith! I feel a little better.

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StevieB Offline OP
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Sara,<P>She used to tell me constatly that she felt I "got off easy"...<P>No piun intened.<P><BR>I keep telling her that I have to live with what I did for thr rest of my life, just as she does. And I really HATE myself for that.<P>She's not getting me back. i'm just being stupid. ( ihope)

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You're most welcome. Actually I am having a drink myself after about a 14 hour day at work (very unusual). My family is off camping, so I have a little time to catch up.<P>Steve, when you were posting I think I was just starting to post and at that time, was it in late May...I was just starting to feel like myself again. That was at about the <BR>4 1/2 month mark after discovery. <P>How long has it been for you. I can tell you I was nuttier than a fruitcake for months. My emotions were all over the place and the grief was tremendous. I could not envision anything but a life of pain, although outwardly I was trying hard to recover and rebuild. Then it finally just got easier. You know, the time heals all wounds thing?<P>However, you can keep the wound raw if you are not careful.<P>So tell me more about the good progress. I'd like to hear it.<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

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StevieB Offline OP
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PS...<P>last year for her birthday I did squat....<P>this year I'm taking her to Canada to see Cirque Du Soliel... I have front row seats!<P>check it out... <A HREF="http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/en/index.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/en/index.html</A> <P>We're seeing the Dralion show and see is VERY excited that I am making such a fuss about her bit\rthday this year.<P><BR>(it's a 12 hour drive to Toronto for us)

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StevieB Offline OP
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FAith,<P>i think it's been roight around 4 1/2 to 5 months from dicovery for my wife...<P>We've done EXCELLENT up until about a week or so ago...<P>Hopefully the trip to Canada next weekend will bring us back close together.<P>My sister... yes! I forgave her... is watching the kids for us.

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Stevie,<BR>I agree with Faith. You need to focus on the progress and the good things at a time like this.<BR>I have always thought Heather and I were at the same place. Remember the ring thing? She is wearing her ring, isn't she?<BR>Reassure her. We can never get enough of that.<BR>I am waiting for the pictures of your son to download.......

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StevieB Offline OP
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Sara...<BR>she wears alll her diamonds now AND her wedding ring. You guys are right!<P>I'm stupid for even thing this way.<P>(but it is still time for another beer... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )<BR>

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StevieB Offline OP
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she's 42 minutes late.... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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Stevie!!!<P>Your baby is so cute. Makes me want one (well, maybe not!)<BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR><P>------------------<BR>RobinAnn<P>*********<P>Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape!

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Stevie,<BR>No more beer... It is not only messing upo your mind... It is making your typing goofy [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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Sounds like quite a weekend!<P>I know you said it is great, but what about it is great. Is your communication better? Are you closer emotionally? You already said your recreational companionship is good.<P>I discovered my H and I are the king and queen of non confrontation. We are working on this and we have resolved several little issues instead of brushing them aside. It seems unnatural and uncomfortable, but talking things through with some learned communication and problem solving techniques has really helped. <P>Although I would never say I'm glad this happened, we really are making the most of it. It is still hard, but what about true commitment isn't?<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

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StevieB Offline OP
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Thanks Robin.<P>He looks like a very small version of me hahaha<P>but mom had something to do witht the way he looks too... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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Faith,<P>i always tell her.. "I don't like the path I took to get here but I do like the end results..."<P>We talk so well now! Nothing ever gets unsaid, it's almost to the piont where we know what each other ids goign to say before we ca say it. <P>We really are best freinds now. I hate how we got here, but we're here.<P>Sara,<P>no way! once I satrt drinking the only thing that stops me is the frig running out. I don't drink very oftern , maybe twice a year... but we went vcampiong last weekend and ddin't finish all of it sO I'm trying to make room in the fridge [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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goota go now peoples... my 6 omthn old son is saying :"Daddy guess what? I need a ne wdiaper and some food.... NOW@!@@@!!!!"<P>hahahaha<P>thanks for your support guys.<P>i'll try to keep you all posted!<P>Love Steve<P>------------------<BR>I fell in love all over again... I fell in love with my wife.

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