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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3 |
My wife and I have been married for 6 1/2 years. First marriage for both of us.<P>We have most of the things that a couple would want in a relationship with the major missing element being sex. We have not had sex very often during our 6 1/2 years (conversely to when we were dating) and I take most, if not all of the blame for that.<P>I still have those feelings for my wife, however, she does not believe me and very recently has become self-absorbed and somewhat distant.<P>She brought up this issue a variety (5-6)of times during our 6 1/2 years, but we just argued and the issue was left essentially unresolved.<P>She and I both agree that we love each other, but she says she is not sure if she can let me back into that part of her life. <P>I am reasonable certain that there is no one else, but I am scared and frustrated not knowing what to do to get her back.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 311
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 311 |
TK,<P>OK I'm gonna shoot from the hip here but it sounds like sexual fulfillment is higher on her emotional needs list then it is on yours. Am I right? You say you love your wife so what are you willing to do to meet this need for the woman you love? Once a month, once a week? What? Find out what is really important to her and do it because you love her not because you want to.<P>Man I hate shopping. But I go with my wife to make her happy not me. Now I have to really evaluate my motives so that I can enthusiastically shop. You may need to do the same thing in the area of sex though I can't identify with your lack of desire. Do it for her, not you. After all that is what a marriage is all about...doing thing for your spouse!<P>Mud <><
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3 |
Thanks Mudder, I'm with you and am totally willing. The problem right now is that she is not ready to let me back in tot hat part of her life. I think she is scared that after a short time things will go back to normal.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 311
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 311 |
Maybe you should concentrate on meeting all of her other emotional needs fo now. Show her non sexual affection. Be consistent. Be ready to meet her SF need at any time. Again, because you want to please her! Be a good boy scout and be prepared! <P>Mud <><
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3 |
Good advice, will try. Thank you so much for replying.
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