I feel like I am splitting into 2 people. One of me has always been moral, honest, open. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs or porn. I taught this to my kids. I married a kind responsible man recently but he likes to drink a beer occasionally and he resents my disgust with porn. I looked and dated a long time and learned what men really like and I just couldn't find anyone like myself. I've read so many forums where porn is a problem with women but men love it and they want to enjoy it with their partner. I really want to please my husband. I can't stand the thought of him sneaking around behind my back and looking at other women. That would be worse than his doing it in front of me. But I don't know how to become part of his world either. I tried looking at porn on my own and although there is a kind of morbid fascination it seems to ruin the tender side of me and turns me into something coarser that I don't really like. I know I could eventually desensitize myself but I never wanted to be that kind of person.<BR>On the other hand everywhere you go now everything is getting so sleezy that it is hard to avoid and seems to be reality. I feel like I am in a world I hate but can't get away from. He loves violent shows and I am gentle-natured. I know I have a problem with drinking because my dad was an alcoholic and it broke up my family. How do I turn into a whole person again....I'm splitting myself into two people and the internal conflict is horrible.

There is a lot of erotic literature that isn't "porn". There are more serious magazines/websites like "Nerve". Not everything is Bob Guccioni or Larry Flynt, or even that self-caricature Hugh Hefner. If you find yourself coarsened, I think it is because of how the magazines and videos he's watching treat the subject. He needs to learn that literature can be a lot more satisfying than comic books... (metaphorically speaking).