I am not that crazy about sex like my husband if it was up to him he would want it every day which I don;t know if i'm wrong to not have that urge every day. I work days and he works nights I hate it when people wake me up and when my husband gets home at 12midnight he wakes me up and he wants tohave sex at that time I get so mad that I give my back to hime and ignore him what can i do to balance out my sexual life with sleep???? I need help?

Just to let you know that you're not alone, I think that at least half of us has had this problem. Are you religious at all, read this Ephesians 5:21-23, Colossians 3:18 & 19

Replace "sex" with "make love", does the issue change, is there a prolbem with the physical or mental aspects. There should be a bound between 2 loving people, what better way to show it. Try surprising him, by being awake 1 night or waking him up in the morning, this may help on the issue of being woke up. Good Luck...

I agree with Bandito. Change the idea to "Love Making", and try making a some time for the both of you to have this, or surprise him... I know he will be happy about this and so will you. Or spend a weekend away together and just devote some of that kind of time to each othe, but tell him that you rather not have it constantly every day, other wise there is no real meaning to it. Everyday basis turns more into an obligation rather than a sweet desire for each other.

Dont feel bad - - you are not the only one that is going through this situation. I know how you feel when your husband wakes you up to make love - that happens to me too. What I did is talk to my husband and told him how I felt and asked him to help me find a solution for this problem. When we talked we decided on taking a short trip out of town just the 2 of us and just be alone for a few days and have time for ourselves and that will give us time to be toguether and explore our relationship. My advice to you is to talk to him and ask him to take some time off just the 2 of you and be alone and see what happens. I wish you the best!

We had a similar problem in our marriage except my dh knew not to even bother waking me up. That would not be a good idea nor expecting sex first thing in the morning. I am NOT of this world until 8:00 in the morning and I am a real shrew if I don't get my beauty sleep.<P>My dh wants sex at least every other day and I am content with once or twice a week. He thinks I am totally frigid if my schedule isn't the same as his. So our marriage counselor suggested we have a set schedule each week. This way my dh would know he would get sex x times a week and I would know that he wouldn't bug me the other days. So we discussed this and I came up with Tues and Sat evenings. It was amazing how much effect this simple change had. His relentless demands stopped and I wasn't stressed out trying to figure out his moods. We don't seem to ridgedly follow this anymore as we are better able to regulate this ourselves now. This simple trick might work for you too. I know it sounds mechanical but it does work and gets rid of all the bad stress!

Doesn't putting it on a schedule take all the spontenaety (?) out of it...my ex wanted me to do this and it just became sex instead of making love.....do you get the spontenaety back after a while???

Yes, it takes all the sponteneity out of it, but when there is major conflict, sponteneity equals disaster. Personally, I like the schedule. I know I won't be pestered, I know I can watch TV, do laundry, go shopping or whatever and if I don't read his mind that he wanted sex that night, it's not the end of the world from his point of view. No more walking on eggshells. Also, this gives me the opportunity to get in the mood without any major lovebusters. Plus he usually tries to do something with me beforehand like eating out, shopping, sitting and watching TV with me or something which helps with my need for attention first. We're now a lot more flexible, but in the beginning, to get things started, it made a major difference. You wouldn't believe the anger and hatred he would project ontowards me because he thought I didn't want sex with him. It wasn't that I didn't want sex with him, it was the hatred and anger towards me I didn't like. How was that supposed to get me in the mood? It was a self-fulfilling prophecy on his part. We just drifted slower and slower apart. So some kind of truce had to be initiated until the love for each other came back. My husband assumes I can read his mind and when I can't, all H breaks loose. He's not good at telling me his needs, I'm just supposed to know what they are. Anyway, a schedule helps take all the guesswork out of it and makes it predictable. And predictability helps earn trust.

pjb;<P>But what if lying there in bed one nite, you decide that you want him. It's ok for you to start something right?<P>My W thinks that all I think about is sex...not true, the other 11.5 hours of the day I think of work, the lawn, projects to do...... I am hormonally driven...I can't help it...I can understand it though.<P>Is this scheduled down to the minute?<BR>

You are starting to twist things around to what you want instead of the way things ARE. You want sex more than her. For her to come to you would be a gift to you, for you to come to her would be irritating. Please don't take that personally. She has a thousand other things on her mind and it takes time to get in the mood. Otherwise, it just feels like another chore someone wants her to do. <P>Yes, it is scheduled to the minute. An hour before bedtime for us. That way neither one of us is sleepy yet and we can just stay in bed and cuddle afterwards. What makes this work is that my husband and I usually do something in the evening for a couple of hours prior. It just isn't scheduled after the kids soccer practice or after my husband returns from a meeting or something like that. It's almost like a date. It actually feels special. We can plan our schedule around it so that we aren't tired and worn out and he doesn't spring it on me after a long long day. <P>It works pretty good. You won't be so obsessed about it if you know in a couple or a few days you would get it and you will look forward to the day with anticipation.<BR>