Major problems. My fiancee and I have been engagged for approximately 9 months and are going into our third year of being together. In the beginning things could not have been better; this includes my relationship with her family as well as sharing the same goals and ideas for our future. There was a sudden change in the above mentioned after we got engagged. The event really showed my how she was "afraid" of speaking up for herself. I quickly learned that it was taboo to sepak of money in her family. After some time, she and her parents came up with a $ for the wedding, my parents matched that amount. At this time she also became very interested in going to medical scholl so she started takeing the prerequsits. This decison did not involve a conversation between us. Time went on and we realized that her parents were not supportive of this wedding. We were arguing about this because she was more focued in her classes than she was in planning th wedding with was scheduled for 12.24.01. SHe moved out of her parents house and in with me. I did not approve but it was better thatn her being around them. The medical school saga increased with me not wanting to up and move just so she could got to school. I have a great career and feel that there are plenty of schools (5) in our area where she could attend. My stance was that if you want to go to medical scool it will have to be in our area. The other part of the argument was $$$$. It was mentioned to he by her sister that her parent swould help but she was once again afraid to ask. We had a huge arguement because she did not want to confront her parents. As it turns out her parent got involved in our relationship. The father accused me of buying his daugther and as far as they were concerned they were not paying for the weeding and would not observed the 12.24.01 date. She made the mistake of confiding in her parents with our problems.<P>Here I am a couple of months later feeling lost and betrayed. I have feelings of resent because our goals and ideas have shifted drastically. My fear that she allows her parents to control her every move. Doubt has been introduced and I'm not sure if she is committed to me as I am to her. She is like a roller coaster with everything and I'm skeptical of setting anonther wedding date. <P>There are many more details but this is just a start. We are sceduled to see a counseler but it is 2.5 weeks away.<P>What to do?

I think the counseling is a great idea. Pre-marital counseling should be a requirement! Find out if the counselor has a *pre-marital inventory* test you can take. It brings up a whole lot of issues that you may not have discussed. Best of luck to you.