History:

Married for 6 years
Wife had two girls before marriage
Oldest girl is a challenge
(she's trying to destroy the family)
Youngest girl is a saint
We have a son together

I feel that I don't get any respect from my wife and it's killing me. I'm sitting here at work crying at my desk as I write this note. The oldest girl is intent on destroying our family and our marriage and my wife has little or no respect for me. In fact the two of them only think of themselves...every decision they make is based on whats best for them.

I am a good husband, I know I am, I cook, I help clean, I do all the laundry, I'm trying to be more of a Spiritual Leader, I show affection, I listen, I support, I romance to no avail, I take care of the kids.......and in return I never get considered and my needs are not important. And I've talked about it until I'm blue in the face. What should I do? maybe I already know....sorry for the rambling.

Before we got engaged my wife had a one nighter with an old friend of hers....I did not find this out until about our third year of marriage. And for my sons 2nd birthday she invited another old friend over for the party and lied about thier relationship. She use to do him too....and her response when I found out was "Don't tell your family, I'm embarrassed" again its all about you. My family had to sit throught the party and listen to this idiot talk about how he is looking for a woman like my mife to settle down with...Tell my family! Like I want them to know how little respect you have for me! In fact I had to listen to the first guy say the same things and she actually invited him to our wedding. I can't seem to get past these things no matter how much I pray.

How do you get the respect of your spouse so late in the game...or can you?

Give them all a dose of their own medicine. Stop doing all the things you for them for a short period of time. Get yourself cleaned up on one of your days off and go to the mall and just look around by yourself. Tell your family that you are going shopping alone. Even better, tell your wife about one of your old flames and see what kind of response you get from her. There is absolutely nothing wrong in giving your spouse the same treatment they give to you. Sometimes that is the only way to get a point across. Stop helping with so many chores around the house and let the ladies do it. If you don’t gain some respect, you’ll definitely open some minds and thoughts.

Dean 790,

"let the ladies do it" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

What the heck is up w/that response???? Did he not say he had a son too? I'm sorry that quote was wrong. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

goodhusband,

I'm in the same situation as you but reversed. I finally had enough last Sunday was ready to impose an in-house separation. Told H I was no longer going to do his laundry, make/cancel his appts., cook for him, do his grocery shopping, etc. We both work full time. He works nights and I work days so I also have the job of raising the kids alone but he doesn't really view that as a job. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Well, guess what? Yesterday when I got home, the dishes were taken out of the dishwasher and put up; the clothes in the dryer were folded and another load put in the washer for me; AND the bed was made (I had left it unmade for TWO days - something I have NEVER done).

Maybe you should try it... I hope H keeps it up! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Dear Good Husband,

Have you looked at 180 Degree Divorce busters under Negoitating, posted by TOOMUCHCOFFEEMAN? Very much what Deean and So Disapointed are saying.

I am reading Paterson, 1987 on Adolescents. How old is your wife's oldest daughter?

Anychance of taking an Adolescant parent treaining class. Adolescents are a new ball game.

Quipper
Husband of 28 years, raised 2 challenging kids, still struggling

Dear Good Husband,

Have you looked at 180 Degree Divorce busters under Negoitating, posted by TOOMUCHCOFFEEMAN? Very much what Dean and So Disapointed are saying.

I am reading Paterson, 1987 on Adolescents. How old is your wife's oldest daughter?

Any chance of taking an Adolescent parent treaining class with your wife. Adolescents are a new ball game.

Posting is therapeutic,

Quipper
Husband of 28 years, raised 2 challenging kids, still struggling